The Lizzie Borden Society archive

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1. "Lizzie Borden Alive Today"
Posted by dave rehak on Feb-10th-02 at 3:00 PM

If Lizzie were alive today . . .


Would she take advantage of plastic surgery?

Would she date/marry Ellen Degeneres? (gay woman)?
Would she date/marry Tom Cruise? (gay guy)?
Would she date/marry Tom Hank (straight or gay)?
Would she date/marry Tom Selleck (straight guy who played a gay guy)?
Would she date/marry Brad Pitt (VERY straight guy)?

Would she dress up in Le Chateau fashions?

Would she hang out with Liz Taylor and her "boy" Michael Jackson, who in turn likes "boys"?

Would she enjoy movies and DVD's? Was Lizzie a fan of the "picture show" or was that too "low class" for her in those days--1910s, 1920s?

Would she still travel to exotic and old-world countries?

Would she do the "chic" thing among the rich and still give to charities?

Would she realize that in this modern world there are not only "a few who care for them", there are many pet-lovers?

Would she move into a Hollywood mansion? (nah)

Lawsuits aside, Tom Selleck is not that straight, Davey-boy!

U got it, Bob. I think he's one of those manly hunky homo's, like Fabio. I met a guy like that at the gym. He later soaped my back for me in the post-workout shower LOL!!!!!!!!!!! j/k

I saw a PBS broadcast last week "Pornography in America".
Not that I have any prurient interests!
There is a director/cinetographer who calls herself "LB" alive today.
Perhaps too ashamed to use her true name?

Lizzie would probably be playing golf in Florida, and she might even have adopted a couple of kids, to whom she could leave her fortune and carry on her father's name.

There's a woman director who actually does go by the name "Lizzie Borden" She did a flick called "Working Girls" among others.

Lizzie would do the Rosie O'Donnell thing and adopt kids

Maybe she'd even come out as a lesbian

In PROCEEDINGS, article by Gary Earl Ross, entitled If Lizzie Borden Had Been Born 100 Years Later , pg.241-
he goes into some detail along the same lines as I was thinking, though he put it MUCH better (as in: gave it more thought)..here are a few excerpts:

"...The first officers on the scene would secure the site and safeguard the intregrity of the physical evidence.  The house would be cordoned off while evidence was collected, bagged, sealed and labeled.  Modern forensic analysis of the phisical evidence would leave few if any of the evidentiary ambiguities associated with the case.  Fingerprinting, blood typing, electron microscopy and DNA testing would all play significant roles in determining the guilt or innocence of Lizzie Borden.

...Optical microscopy, birefringence determinations and infrared spectrometry would settle whether the dress Lizzie burned the Sunday after the murders was stained with paint, as she claimed, or blood.

...double parricide at the hands of a well-to-do woman, instead of a crazed adolescent, almost certainly (is) unique.

...How strong a factor would the Borden's family dysfunction be in sustaining public interest in the case?  In all liklihood, it would be central to the public interest.

...Kleptomania, psychomotor epilepsy and lesbianism would all be explained and counterexplained in magazines and on television.  Also, sensatioalized enough in the mainstream media, the Borden family tensions would see no end of bizarre handling in the tabloids.

...Today Andrew would be a source of amused interest and likely considered an eccentric.  He would be remembered as driving the last Edsel in Fall River.  His would be the only house on Second street almost totally free of technological miracles like electric razors, power tools, vacuum cleaners, toasters, electric fans and power lawn mowers...he'd have...rotary dial telephone...and black and white portable television.

...Lizzie could tell her version on the Oprah Winfrey Show.

...If Lizzie came out of the closet as a lesbian, she would find outpourings of support from lesbian and feminist groups...If there were any indication of parental sexual abuse...her support base would increase to include those orginanizations and individuals that treat survivors of incest and abuse...

...Convicted, Lizzie might answer the questions of Peter Jennings or Tom Brokaw from her prison cell.

...her film biography would more likely resemble I WANT TO LIVE! (Susan Hayward),...then THE LEGEND OF LIZZIE BORDEN (Elizabeth Montgomery)....protesters would march outside the prison (before) her electrocution....

...Acquitted, Lizzie could show Barbara Walters or Connie Chung around Maplecroft, her new home...(while) advocating animal rights.  Eventually, she would write a bestseller (and) sell the movie rights....."



(Message last edited Feb-19th-02  12:27 AM.)

Thanks to Gary Ross for putting lesbianism right up there with kleptomania and was it epilepsy? Silly bastard

As I read the whole article I realized he meant that these activities would tittilate the public and become the *sensationalized* crap we read in the Tabloids..."the lowest common denominator" mentality.  It was the public's perveristy he really was commenting on, as there is no basis in fact for Any of these proclivities in the Borden household.
I thought about *editing* my edit, but figured that was going too far.
This is an example of taking things *out of context*, so please everyone be aware that when you see the "dot,dot,dot"=...
Stuff is left out, due to whatever.
Please consider this as a device, and as a spur to your seeking more info on a subject that interests you, even if the research  you do is to Refute.  That's Valid.