Forum Title: LIZZIE BORDEN SOCIETY
Topic Area: Stay to Tea
Topic Name: Lessons from eBay

1. "Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Edisto on Aug-30th-02 at 7:35 PM

This was touched upon on another thread.  I actually think somebody could write a humor book, simply using items gleaned from eBay listings.  Here are a couple of gems I found today.  (I usually try to browse the "Antique Dolls" category every day.)

"Huge Composition Bubbles Doll (What a Sweaty!)"  That's a bit more realism than I like in my antique dolls...

"Head is handpainted with a croqueted hat."  What on earth is a "croqueted" hat?  I remember that we used to have something called "salmon croquettes" when I was a kid.  Does this mean the hat is a rounded mass of chopped meat, fish or vegetables, coated with beaten egg and deep-fried?  -Or does it just mean the hat has been flattened with a croquet mallet?


2. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Susan on Aug-30th-02 at 9:13 PM
In response to Message #1.

Edisto, sounds like I have to check out eBay more often! 


3. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Kat on Aug-30th-02 at 9:43 PM
In response to Message #1.

This isn't E-Bay but from my Alabama friend.

She calls the pretty little purple flowers in her garden "VIOLENTS."


4. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Edisto on Aug-30th-02 at 10:08 PM
In response to Message #3.

Oooooh!  I like that one.  Here's another from eBay:
"Her hair is slightly gone."  (I think I know some guys who have that problem.)


5. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Stefani on Sep-1st-02 at 6:19 PM
In response to Message #4.

Here's one from SOMEBODY who should know better!

"Here is the "Grand-daddy" book of them all - (up to 1999, that is, when Leonard Rebello self-published LIZZIE BORDEN PAST & PRESENT) - Edmund Pearson's TRAIL OF LIZZIE BORDEN."

While that is a good title for a book, it is not the title of THIS book. Too funny!


6. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Edisto on Sep-1st-02 at 10:00 PM
In response to Message #4.

(Answering my own posts again)  Here's tonight's gem:
"This doll is well over one hundred years old.  She has been pasted down through the generations."


7. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Edisto on Sep-2nd-02 at 12:58 PM
In response to Message #6.

Today's contribution:
  "The feet are starting to peal."  (Is that the ringing sound I hear?)


8. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Susan on Sep-2nd-02 at 2:21 PM
In response to Message #7.

Thanks for the laughs, Edisto!  Does anybody proofread anything, anymore? 


9. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Edisto on Sep-2nd-02 at 9:50 PM
In response to Message #8.

Y'know, I don't think most of these people would find their own mistakes.  I'm sure the person who typed "peal" thinks that's the correct spelling for "peel."  One of the most hilarious things I've seen on eBay was a title for an auction.  There was a doll manufacturer in Germany in the Victorian/Edwardian era named Armand Marseille.  He was a very prolific manufacturer, and his wares usually have his initials, A. M., on them.  This seller read the initials as the word "am."  He/she was selling a very large A. M. doll and didn't know how to spell worth a dam.  The title of the listing was "Hugh Am Doll."  I think the person meant to say, "Huge A. M. Doll."  There's a guy who sells on eBay who reminds me of someone else I know.  He swipes images from other people's listings and sells them as return-address stickers, mouse pads and the like.  He knows nothing about dolls, so he didn't know this title was wrong.  He stole the picture and titled his auction, "Address Stickers Featuring Hugh Am Doll."  I laughed until I almost wet my pants.  Then I emailed him, told him I was just learning about antique dolls, and asked what a "Hugh Am" doll was.


10. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Susan on Sep-3rd-02 at 12:22 AM
In response to Message #9.

Thats great!  And you got to grill the sneak thief to boot!  Did this guy at least admit to you he had no idea what a Hugh AM Doll is?  It almost sounds like bad english, like someone trying to say, You are a doll!

Which reminded me of something that happened this Friday when I was out nightclubbing with the gang.  We met this guy from Edinburgh, Scotland, which is strange because one of my friends just got back from a vacation there.  Anyway, the guy says, I am Hugh, he pronounced Hugh with a soft "H", so I heard, YOU.  I thought maybe he didn't hear my name and was asking, who are you?  And I told him, I'm Susan.  This went on for 3 times until Hugh's friend said that his name was Hugh, like in Hugh Grant.  I got such a big laugh out of that and thankfully so did Hugh!  It was like some weird comedy bit.


11. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Edisto on Sep-3rd-02 at 11:14 PM
In response to Message #10.

He wasn't as cute as Hugh Grant, was he?  No matter; he probably had better taste in women! 
Here's today's funny from eBay:
"This circa 1930 composition and bisque doll is in good condition with the exception of the doll's eyes are inside the head, the body is unstrung, cracks on the body, middle finger of left hand is broke off, and cracks and chips on legs and arms."

Reminds me of that old story about the guy who lost his cat, so he put an ad in the paper:
"Lost - large tomcat.  One ear partly torn off, has only one eye, tail kinked from being caught in screen door, walks with a limp.  Answers to name 'Lucky'."


12. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Stefani on Sep-4th-02 at 12:02 AM
In response to Message #11.

How about this one I found tonight:
"AWESOME AUTHENTIC UNIQUE DESIGN COIN SILVER. INSCRIPTION ON THE BACK READS C.S. TAKE 1888. THIS MIGHT VERY WELL HAVE BEEN ON THE SCENE OF THE LIZZY BORDEN MURDERS IN 1892. THE FRONT HAS FALL RIVER FIRE DEPT./TOWN SEAL/CROSSED LADDERS/CROSSED AXES ON THE TOP. 205 UNIT NO. ON THE BOTTOM. THIS IS A PIECE OF FIREFIGHTOING HISTORY. I JUST DON'T COLLECT FIRE BADGES. IF YOU ARE SERIOUS, I CAN SEND YOU A PHOTO COPY AS I DON'T HAVE A SCANNER. WINNER PAYS $5.00 INSURED POSTAGE."

yes, it was in all caps. yelling this sale aren't they?

so the fire department was on the scene of the "lizzie borden murders"? Let me tell Rebello.

(Message last edited Sep-4th-02  12:03 AM.)


13. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Susan on Sep-4th-02 at 1:28 AM
In response to Message #11.

  Actually, he was pretty cute, but, too short for me and lives in Scotland.  But, I did hook up his friend who is in the navy with one of my single girlfriends!  Just call me, Dolly Levi!


Good stuff, Edisto and Stefani!  Like I said, I've got to check out eBay more often! 


14. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Stefani on Sep-4th-02 at 9:16 AM
In response to Message #13.

More:

"The booklet has no index, but sir names mentioned in the 1839 section include:"


15. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Edisto on Sep-4th-02 at 2:18 PM
In response to Message #13.

Yes, I guess short AND Scottish is a bad combination.  Now one or the other I could take.  I'm a real sucker for an English (not necessarily Scottish) accent.  When I used to mention that, they would always say, "You lot are the ones with the accents."  (I guess they're right, although I've read "somewhere" that our accents in this country may sound more like the English did in Shakespeare's time.  Methinks there was a difference in vocabulary, though.)


16. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Susan on Sep-4th-02 at 10:28 PM
In response to Message #15.

Oh I agree, Edisto!  I'm a sucker for a man with a foreign accent, I've dated one Englishman, one from Spain and one from Australia.  I know, I sound like I get around alot!

My English boyfriend was always kidding me about how us "Yanks" destroyed the English language, that he spoke the Queen's English.  I told him, yeah, we speak the King's English here! 


17. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by rays on Sep-5th-02 at 12:34 PM
In response to Message #16.

Decades ago I hear from a French teacher that Canadian French was the 18th century version of a French province from where most came from. Nobody asked about "American". I read last year that American is also based on 18th century English, based on the people who came from a particular province.
Does anyone know whether people from New England came from on particular part of England? Or the people from the South (Scotch-Irish predominately?). New York city area had Dutch influences; a language similar to English. One reason for regional accents?


18. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Stefani on Sep-6th-02 at 7:20 PM
In response to Message #12.

"rare movie starring elizabeth montgomery this tape is in good condition winner pays 3.00 S$H as a bonus i will add on the tape a mini bio of lizzie and maybe just maybe if i can find it a rear vhs story on lizzie. i will also add case reopend 47 minute documetary about lizzie's case with ed mcbain email me with questions before bidding."

Do you think their CAPs key is broken?


19. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by harry on Sep-6th-02 at 9:38 PM
In response to Message #18.

Looks like their dictionary may be broken as well.


20. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Stefani on Sep-6th-02 at 11:32 PM
In response to Message #19.

What is a "rear VHS story on Lizzie"?

I've been trying to decipher that line.  . . . what could it mean?

(Message last edited Sep-6th-02  11:33 PM.)


21. "Re: Lessons from eBay"
Posted by Kat on Sep-7th-02 at 1:03 AM
In response to Message #20.

Rare?



 

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