1. "Explain The Bumper Sticker"
Posted by Kashesan on Mar-27th-03 at 11:07 AM

While washing the car yesterday it struck me how difficult (and embarrassing) it would be to try to explain to Lizzie (in 1892 or3) what the hell bumper stickers are and why her picture is adorning my car
Kath: Miss Borden?
Lizzie (smiling politely): Yes?
Kath: I have something to tell you
Liz(feeling uneasy now): Yes...?
Kath: Do you know what a car is?
Liz:On a train, do you mean?
Kath: No, an automobile.
Liz: A what? Oh, I've seen drawings of those things they're trying to build out west. With the engines and such?
Kath: KInd of. They are individual transportation devices, with combustible engines that run off of petroleum based fuel.
Liz (lost): Yes...yes of course
Kath: Well anyway, I have one. And in the future we all have one it seems. We've taken to decorating them with adornments and political slogans and such. Placards that adhere to the bumpers.
Liz (looking around for someone to rescue her): Oh really...?
Kath: Yes. And I well, I have one with your picture on it
Liz (suddenly interested, flattered): My picture?
Kath: Yes! One that was taken in 1892-or 3
Liz: Well! Thats very surprising Miss! Very surprising! My picture?
Kath: Yes. And a slogan.
Liz (delighted): A slogan! My goodness, whatever could it say?
Kath(sheepishly): It says 'Did She Or Didn't She?'
Lizzie(her smile freezes and fades): Excuse me?
Kath: It has your picture-very nice I might add-and the words "Did She Or Didn't She"
Lizzie (incensed as the meaning dawns on her): How dare you! How DARE you! Like some big timeless joke am I then? Remove it! Remove it instantly!
Kath: No, no joke, Miss Borden! No joke! In fact people give me the right of way when they see it! They give me a wide, respectful berth!
Lizzie: Remove it this instant!

  I love it!  Didn't Lizzie have one of the first cars in Fall River?  Now I wonder if they had any sort of bumper stickers for their cars then?  Rumor has it that Lizzie paid to have all the offending fenders removed from the cars which had her likeness depicted thereon. 

I think we did this one before-possible bumper stickers on Lizzie's car:
Humane Society Supporter
My Other Car Is A Broom
Hate Is Not A Family Value
Honk If You Love Animals!
Back Off!

My bumper sticker says "guys wanted" -- and, oddly
enough, I get a lot of guys driving along waving at me.