We traveled to my nieces graduation party today. The trip took us within 12 miles of Hastings Iowa, the town JVM lived in and is buried near here in Iowa.
We made the detour and photos were taken to appear in an upcoming issue of The Hatchet!
After we trekked all about the section of land the Morse farm was on we headed on the Graduation Party, arriving there about 6pm.
My sister in law (Thayne's sister-- and my least favorite one at that) had told me she may need "some help" in the kitchen during the party and I told her I would be glad to help. Little did I know!
When we arrived at the "hall" she had rented I was directed to the kitchen by her husband where I found her (Missy) smoking by the hand sink and eating a sandwich she had taken from a plastic bag near to her on a counter.
I asked her if she needed help and she all but screeched at me "YES!"
She had NOTHING done and the party was due to begin at 6.30! I yoo hoo'd to Thayne and made him come to the kitchen.
Nothing was on trays and she had little, if any serving utensils. I found some trays and lit a fire under Thayne to arrange the sandwiches on them.
There were mints, nuts, chips, potato salad and macaroni salad to be put/arranged in/on bowls or platters.
I was scurrying about doing this while she smoked another cigarette and complained about the cost of the party.
Through a small "port hole" window on the door leading from the kitchen to the party room I spied my favorite sister in law (Mary) arrive. I hot footed it out there and ordered her to the kitchen.
She came in and I asked her to cut the sheet cakes and arrange the slices on the colored paper cake plated I saw sitting next to the cakes. She did not seem to want to do this (she is lazy as sin and always has a fancy manicure) but I threatened her and she finally set to work. She kept asking me questions as to how "they" wanted it done and I finally told her I didn't care how she got that cake on those plates just to do it and do it fast!
I made several searches of the "hall's" kitchen and finally ran some serving utensils to ground and was able to start taking some of the bowls and platters to the buffet table.
For the next hour I kept Mary and Thayne busy refilling the buffet table and wishing for one of Missy's cigarettes she had so carelessly left on the hand sink where the soap-- which was missing-- is kept. I quit smoking Jan1 of this year and DID manage to resist the temptation of her Menthol cigarettes. Had those cigarettes been Winstons and not Salems they would have been in my purse!
I finally threw up my hands and said "to hell with it" and went out to the party room, filled a plate, ate it and informed my family we were leaving!
It was now 8pm.
Mary begged me to take Thayne (and her husband's) grandmother with us in our car as she was sick of her. I did agree to this as it was only fair since my Alax and Zack were going to stay at the party and ride home with her and her family-- and granny had been out late enough!
Thayne's grandmother is the meanest women I have ever known.
We piled into our Chevy Yukon SUV. Thayne and me in the front, Granny in the seat behind me and my Lilly and Torrey next to her. In the "way back" were Michael and Joey.
As we were leaving town Thayne commented on the menacing looking clouds in the sky and told me he was going to try and get as many miles behind us as fast as possible and put the pedal to the metal.
As we were driving along Granny begins telling us about a race horse called "Smarty Jones" who's owner named her after his grandmother's nickname and how we should do the same with a nickname for her.
I imagined the announcer...
"And it's mean old bi*ch coming up on the outside, mean old bi*ch is making a run for it... and it's mean old bi*ch by a nose!"
Then Joey tells her about our detour and she begins to lament me about my "peculiar interests" and how much better my life would be if I didn't stay up half the night reading about "ghouls".
Oh how I longed for those Salems!
By this time it had started to rain and had darkened almost completely.
It rained harder and harder and cars were starting to pull over on the shoulder to wait it out. Not Thayne. He persisted.
We had the radio on and it was telling us of a tornado warning in Shelby county and how a tornado was spotted near the airport just south of the county seat. I asked him what county we were in and he stated "Shelby" I gasped! "SHELBY?" He countered with "Yes Audrey" I said "YES?" He told me to quit repeating everything he said. I told him he better pull over as it was impossible to drive more than 10mph and we couldn't see past the end of the hood. He told me he could see some lights and we were heading to them to see if there was a place to pull over there. On he drove-- about one eight of a mile-- those lights he saw were the airport the tornado was spotted near!
We pulled over in a drive way to an anhydrous amonia tank just across from the airport. There was a light near the tanks and I could see the rain coming down almost straight across and not down at all!
Our huge SUV was rocking and soon it started hailing like I have never seen before in all my life. I was sure a window would be broken out. None was-- and we sat there for nearly 20 minutes as the rain raged and the hail pelted our car.
Oh how I longed for those Salems!
When it let up enough to drive we continued on into town and stopped at a conveniece store where we shared war stories with other motorists caught in the storm. I found my cell phone in my purse (where those Salems should have been) and called Alax on his to find (Much to my relief) that they were still at the "hall" as the weather had hit there as well and were waiting for it to blow over before they left--- all my babies were safe and accounted for--- I was finally able to relax!
Oh how I longed to buy some Winstons in the convenience store! I resisted!
We continued home and it rained and the whole way. There was a lot of thunder and lightening as well. We got home and Thayne dropped us off and continued on to take granny to her apartment in town.
Alax and Zack were dropped off about 20 minutes ago. All my babies are safe, accounted for and in their own beds.
Things are looking up!
I should have bought those cigarettes!
Don't forget to look for those photos in The Hatchet!
Hastings/Graduation Party/Tornado!
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