Unintentional Funnies
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- bobarth
- Posts: 434
- Joined: Thu Jul 20, 2006 1:17 pm
- Real Name:
- Location: Colorado Springs
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- Posts: 864
- Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2004 8:54 pm
- Real Name: Constantine Coutroulos
- Location: New York, New York
While I like George Carlin and he says a lot of things that need to be said, I am by no means an uncritical admirer of him (not that I think he would expect me to be). For example, don't open your mouth around him without consulting the list of expressions he doesn't like. (Don't call an obvious choice a "no-brainer," for instance. (Yes I will, and if he doesn't like it, too bad.))
Even standard usages are not always logical. For example, "I didn't know she was Amy's daughter." (She still is.) Or "I never want to see you again." (What you mean is that you want never to see the person again, but saying it that way would sound funny.)
Even standard usages are not always logical. For example, "I didn't know she was Amy's daughter." (She still is.) Or "I never want to see you again." (What you mean is that you want never to see the person again, but saying it that way would sound funny.)
- SteveS.
- Posts: 653
- Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2007 2:01 pm
- Real Name: Steve
- Location: born and raised in Fall River, Ma.
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Stefani, i was just reading through old posts when I came across this one from you back in July of 2005 "My teacher in high school told us we were going to read "A sale of two titties"---we just looked at each other and tried to be kind."
I must admit I sat here at the computer and laughed out loud for a good 10 minutes. You made my day![Laughing :lol:](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
I must admit I sat here at the computer and laughed out loud for a good 10 minutes. You made my day
![Laughing :lol:](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
In memory of....Laddie Miller, Royal Nelson and Donald Stewart, Lizzie Borden's dogs. "Sleeping Awhile."
- 1bigsteve
- Posts: 2140
- Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2005 10:29 pm
- Real Name: evetS
- Location: California
SteveS. @ Fri Jan 26, 2007 10:33 am wrote:Stefani, i was just reading through old posts when I came across this one from you back in July of 2005 "My teacher in high school told us we were going to read "A sale of two titties"---we just looked at each other and tried to be kind."
I must admit I sat here at the computer and laughed out loud for a good 10 minutes. You made my day
An anouncer made that same mistake on TV years ago. I'll bet it took him a while to live that one down.
![Embarassed :oops:](./images/smilies/icon_redface.gif)
Here try saying this one real fast:
"In the sheets she sits. She sits in the sheets. Where does she sit? In the sheets she sits." OK, enough for today.
![Very Happy :grin:](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
-1bigsteve (o:
"All of your tomorrows begin today. Move it!" -Susan Hayward 1973
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- Posts: 864
- Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2004 8:54 pm
- Real Name: Constantine Coutroulos
- Location: New York, New York
The way I learned it was:
I slit a sheet, a sheet i slit; and on this slitted sheet I sit.
or how about:
One smart feller, he felt smart; two smart fellers, they felt smart; three smart fellers, they all felt smart.
A few g-rated ones:
rubber baby buggy bumpers
toy boats
black bug's blood
Here's one I thought up:
kosher sushi
A similar blooper was:
This is KTIW Sexas Titty, uh, Texas City.
I slit a sheet, a sheet i slit; and on this slitted sheet I sit.
or how about:
One smart feller, he felt smart; two smart fellers, they felt smart; three smart fellers, they all felt smart.
A few g-rated ones:
rubber baby buggy bumpers
toy boats
black bug's blood
Here's one I thought up:
kosher sushi
A similar blooper was:
This is KTIW Sexas Titty, uh, Texas City.
- SteveS.
- Posts: 653
- Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2007 2:01 pm
- Real Name: Steve
- Location: born and raised in Fall River, Ma.
- Contact:
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- Posts: 864
- Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2004 8:54 pm
- Real Name: Constantine Coutroulos
- Location: New York, New York
One I noticed recently on a plastic bag:
To avoid danger of suffocation, keep away from babies and small children.
To avoid danger of suffocation, keep away from babies and small children.
A man ... wants to give his wife ... the interest in a little homestead where her sister lives. How wicked to have found fault with it. How petty to have found fault with it. (Hosea Knowlton in his closing argument.)
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- Posts: 864
- Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2004 8:54 pm
- Real Name: Constantine Coutroulos
- Location: New York, New York
I understood it as "If you don't want to be suffocated, keep away from babies and small children."
(I realize that this deals with a situation that has resulted in tragedy for many people. No offense meant. (As Carol Burnett said, comedy is often tragedy plus time.))
(I realize that this deals with a situation that has resulted in tragedy for many people. No offense meant. (As Carol Burnett said, comedy is often tragedy plus time.))
A man ... wants to give his wife ... the interest in a little homestead where her sister lives. How wicked to have found fault with it. How petty to have found fault with it. (Hosea Knowlton in his closing argument.)
- 1bigsteve
- Posts: 2140
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- Real Name: evetS
- Location: California
Thats even better, Constantine.
I had a teacher that made me feel like I was suffocating everytime she got near. I never could do anything right.
Plastic wrap and bags do kill a lot of children every year. I wish they would bring back the universal skull and crossbones sign. You don't need to understand english to know what it means. Parents beware!
-1bigsteve (o:
![Smile :smile:](./images/smilies/icon_smile.gif)
I had a teacher that made me feel like I was suffocating everytime she got near. I never could do anything right.
Plastic wrap and bags do kill a lot of children every year. I wish they would bring back the universal skull and crossbones sign. You don't need to understand english to know what it means. Parents beware!
-1bigsteve (o:
"All of your tomorrows begin today. Move it!" -Susan Hayward 1973
- 1bigsteve
- Posts: 2140
- Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2005 10:29 pm
- Real Name: evetS
- Location: California
Here's one I hear everyday. "Valued Customer." I thought all customers are valued?
I knew a realtor who used this line, "You might can do it." That one drove me up the wall.
"Where is it at?" bug's me. "It's behind the at."
"Where is it?" sound's better.
-1bigsteve (o:
I knew a realtor who used this line, "You might can do it." That one drove me up the wall.
"Where is it at?" bug's me. "It's behind the at."
![Rolling Eyes :roll:](./images/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif)
-1bigsteve (o:
"All of your tomorrows begin today. Move it!" -Susan Hayward 1973
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- Posts: 864
- Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2004 8:54 pm
- Real Name: Constantine Coutroulos
- Location: New York, New York
How's this?
A sign on one of those knobs or buttons on walls that unlock doors:
Push to exit. (Can you imagine some dunce pushing the knob and wondering why he's still inside?)
A sign on one of those knobs or buttons on walls that unlock doors:
Push to exit. (Can you imagine some dunce pushing the knob and wondering why he's still inside?)
A man ... wants to give his wife ... the interest in a little homestead where her sister lives. How wicked to have found fault with it. How petty to have found fault with it. (Hosea Knowlton in his closing argument.)
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- Posts: 864
- Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2004 8:54 pm
- Real Name: Constantine Coutroulos
- Location: New York, New York
Re: Unintentional Funnies
This is a thread that might well be revived.
How about "close proximity"? (Is there another kind?)
Or "closed for business."
How about "close proximity"? (Is there another kind?)
Or "closed for business."
A man ... wants to give his wife ... the interest in a little homestead where her sister lives. How wicked to have found fault with it. How petty to have found fault with it. (Hosea Knowlton in his closing argument.)