My latest pleasure reading is
Spy the Lie: How to Spot Deception the CIA Way (Yes, I lead an unexciting life...
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Here are a few points the authors make about verbal deception:
• Failure to answer - If you ask someone a question and he doesn’t give you what you ask for, there’s a reason for that. One possible reason is that the facts aren’t on his side, and he’s trying to figure out how to deal with that.
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Avoidance - Closely related to the failure to answer is the absence of an explicit denial of something in your question that involves an act of wrongdoing, or has consequences associated with it.
• Long-winded - If in response to a question about wrongdoing, a person gives you a “no” response, but buries it in a long-winded answer, that’s important. If the percentage of the answer that relates to the denial is relatively small, that’s a bad thing. Consider it a deceptive indicator.
• Reluctance to answer - Sometimes, we’ll ask a person a question and he’ll say something like, “I’m not sure I’m the right person to talk to.” In some instances, it’s because he doesn’t want to be the right person to talk to— it’s an easy dodge.
• Repeat the Repeating Parrot - Why might a deceptive person repeat a question? We think of it as buying time , and ultimately that’s the goal. But what’s happening, according to behavioral psychologists, is he’s probably trying to fill in what would otherwise appear to be a very awkward moment of silence. Silence in response to a question is almost universally perceived as deceptive.
• Ditto for non-answer statements such as, “That’s a good question,” or “I’m glad you asked that.”
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Inconsistent statements - “It is not without good reason said, that he who has not good memory should never take upon him the trade of lying."
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Going into attack mode - Being backed into a corner by the facts of a situation can put a lot of strain on a deceptive person, and can compel him to go on the attack.
• Asking the inappropriate question - Some schools of thought suggest that answering a question with a question is deceptive, but we would say that’s not necessarily the case. What concerns us is when we ask a question, and the response is a question that doesn’t directly relate to the question we asked.
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Specificity - Deceptive people might be overly specific in two ways, and they’re almost polar opposites. One way is they will answer a question too technically, or too narrowly. In addition to being overly specific by limiting the scope of the response, deceptive people might go to the other extreme of overspecificity and inundate you with detailed information in response to your question.
• Inappropriate level of politeness - We’re certainly not at all suspicious of someone who’s just a nice person. But if, in response to a question, a person suddenly increases the level of nicety, that’s significant.
• Diminishment - If the facts are not a person’s ally, he’s put into a hole from which he needs to try to extricate himself. A person in this position doesn’t have much going for him, so he might resort to a strategy of attempting to diminish the importance of the issue.
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Complaints - Sometimes, a person won’t necessarily go on the attack, but will still attempt to play offense rather than defense by taking issue with the proceedings. Questions like “Why are you asking me?” or “How long is this going to take?”
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Failure to Understand a Simple Question - When you ask a question, you often use certain words or phrases to establish boundaries that define the scope or magnitude of the question. If that particular wording traps the person, one strategy he might employ is to get you to change your phrasing or terminology. The aim is to shrink the scope or magnitude of the question, to give him just enough wiggle room to answer it to your satisfaction and to his.
• Referral statements - Sometimes in response to a question, a deceptive person will refer to having previously answered the question. This might take the form of such statements as, “I would refer you to my earlier statement when I said . . .” or “As I told the last guy . . .” or “As we have repeatedly stated in our corporate filings . . .” The idea here is to build credibility.
• Invoking God - When a person brings God into the equation, he’s engaging in an extreme form of what psychologists call “dressing up the lie,” and it can be very effective. After all, what do you have in your briefcase that tops God? So, you need to recognize responses that include such phrases as “I swear to God” or “As God is my witness” for what they may well be: an attempt to dress up a lie in its Sunday best before presenting it to you.
• Selective memory - When a person says, “I don’t remember,” that’s a difficult statement to refute without some definitive, tangible evidence. It’s a psychological alibi , and it’s a hard alibi to crack.
• Qualifiers - Examples of qualifiers of this type include “basically,”“for the most part,” “fundamentally,”“probably,” and “most often.” Perception qualifiers are used to enhance credibility: “frankly,”“to be perfectly honest,” and “candidly” are examples.
• Lies of influence - Q: Did you love your step-mother? A: Let me show you my award for being Fall River Sunday School Teacher of the Year in 1887.
Okay, maybe more than a few!!! The important point made by the authors is one of these taken in and of itself may mean nothing, but a pattern definitely casts red flags. I've bolded the ones I see Lizzie doing...
Houston, Philip; Floyd, Mike; Carnicero, Susan (2012-07-19). Spy the Lie: How to spot deception the CIA way Icon Books.
but unfortunately my return this time is only temporary. I will be free from my work only in at least one month.
