You Know You are From Fall River if . . .

From the MySpace page of Veronica Paige:

you know you’re from fall river if…

i may not live there anymore, but you gotta represent!

¢¾ You have ever “cruised the ave,” or even spoke the term “cruise the ave.”
¢¾ You know who Lizzie Borden is and how many “whacks” were involved.
¢¾ You refer to everyone on Earth as “guy.”
¢¾ You have a rock solid preference when it comes to ordering from Domino’s or Papa Gino’s.
¢¾ You know who “Skip” Karam is.
¢¾ You attended, are attending, or are destined to attend B.M.C. Durfee High School.
¢¾ You know who Mr. Attar is/was.
¢¾ You have at least some Portuguese in you.
¢¾ You also know all the Portuguese swears.
¢¾ You live in a 3-family victorian tenement.
¢¾ Your grandparents worked in the mills.
¢¾ You are aware that you have a 50/50 shot at having the Brightman St. Bridge be closed for repairs.
¢¾ The Taunton River is like a part of you, but you’d never dare swim in it.
¢¾ You know exactly what “Fall River Celebrates” every August.
¢¾ You take your chow mein strained, thank you very much.
¢¾ You have the thickest dialect in the country–to the point where it is no longer English.
¢¾ You don’t say, “He got his ears pierced,” you say, “He got his ee-yiz pee-isst.”
¢¾ Your favorite cold drink is coffee milk and your favorite hot drink is a Dunkin Donuts “Lahge, extra cream, extra suga.”
¢¾ Providence is 15 minutes to the right, New Bedford is 15 minutes to the left, and Boston is an hour up.
¢¾ In the summer, you can be found at Horseneck.
¢¾ Westport means The Beach.
¢¾ You’ve never come to an intersection without seeing “NO TURN ON RED.”
¢¾ You have friends named Manny and Miguel. Their last names are either Medeiros, Mello, Silva, or De-something.
¢¾ You’re Catholic.
¢¾ You call it a “grinder”–not a sub or a hoagie.
¢¾ You’ll fight to the death defending your grinder shop, Marzilli’s or Marcucci’s.
¢¾ You use the word “wicked” as in “wicked good” more than all the people in Boston combined.
¢¾ New Bedford sucks!
¢¾ Providence might as well be your capital.
¢¾ You were born at Charlton Memorial.
¢¾ You can’t remember a time when Ed Lambert wasn’t the mayor.
¢¾ You’ve ever counted the humps on the “Seven Hills” to see if there are actually seven hills.
¢¾ You’re from “Faw Riva.”

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Stefani Koorey

Dr. Stefani Koorey: PearTree Press, Theatre prof, Author, Historian, Librarian. Florida born, New England transplant.

ABOUT MONDO LIZZIE

A healthy and whimsical mix of pop culture, news, gossip, opinion, and advice—one way or another related to the topic of Lizzie Borden. We search the web so you don’t have to!

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Mondo Lizzie on YouTube.
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Being a collector of the weird and fabulous as it relates to the Borden case, I have files of these images saved during the past twenty years. And I would like to share them with you now. Laugh, gasp, chuckle, or rage, these photos were all on eBay. For a price. I used to write the sellers and let them know they didn’t have a Lizzie, but soon gave up on that practice. They didn’t care. Even though they were committing fraud by the sale of the image as a true Lizzie Borden. Oh well.

Here we go. Enjoy.

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