Lizzie Andrew Borden Virtual Museum and Library
 

 

 

Lizzie Borden Newzletter — March 2003
Vol. 2, Issue 3


Table of Contents
1. Greetingz

2. March Timeline
3. Updatz
4. Upcoming Eventz
5. Lizzie in the Newz
6. Web Site Additionz
7. Web Site Coming Attractionz
8. Lizzie Borden Quarterly
9. Lizzie Gifts — Perfect for the Lizzie Borden buff in your life!
10. Thiz and Thatz


1. GREETINGZ

March is upon us and spring is just around the corner, hence the flowery theme for this month's newzletter. Even if you are still experiencing cold and rain and snow, you can take heart that warmer weather is on its way. I hope these pansies will warm you until the season changes for real.

There are now 113 subscribers to the Lizzie Borden Newzletter and 149 members of the Lizzie Borden Society Forum. Welcome to all of you!

I am putting together a list of members' and subscribers' birthdays so that I can give you each a public best wishes when your day rolls around. If you would like to share that info (date, not year) feel free to email me. I am going to also use the data to determine if any particular astrological sign is more attracted to this case than any others. So you are really participating in an unscientific astrology study. I will post the results here in about two months.

Here's a direct link to the forum


2. MARCH TIMELINE

These are the events related to the Lizzie Borden case that occurred in the month of March. Strangely, it is a month of deaths:

  • March 1 — 1851, Emma Lenora Borden is born
  • March 1 — 1912, John Vinnicum Morse dies in Hastings, Iowa, at the age of 79
  • March 1 — 1845, Borden and Almy formed
  • March 3 — 1918, Dr. Seabury Warren Bowen dies in Fall River, at the age of 78
  • March 4 — 1867, George, son of Hiram and Lurana dies of "brain disease", at the age of 9 years and 5 mo.
  • March 9 — 1903, Rev. Edwin Augustus Buck dies after a brief attack of pneumonia
  • March 10 — 1858, Alice Esther Borden dies of "dropsy on the brain" or hydrocephalus
  • March 13 — 1930, Mrs. Mary Eleanor (Wilkins) Freeman, author of "The Long Arm" dies, at the age of 77
  • March 16 — 1900, Judge Justin Dewey dies, at the age of 64
  • March 17 — 1931, Dr. Thomas F. Gunning, last survivor of a group of witnesses at the autopsies dies
  • March 18 — 1941, Arthur Sherman Phillips dies in Fall River, at the age of 76
  • March 25 — 1948, Bridget Sullivan dies in Butte, Montana, at the age of 73
  • March 26 — 1863, Sarah Anthony Morse Borden dies of "uterine congestion and disease of the spine," at the age of 39
  • March 18 — 1854, Charles C. Cook is born in Fall River
  • March 18 — 1966, Edward D. Radin, author of Lizzie Borden: The Untold Story, dies of cancer, at the age of 56
  • March 29 — 1848, Asst. City Marshal John Fleet is born in Aston-under-Lynn, in Lancaster, England

 


3. UPDATZ: From Carol Pedersen:

The LBQ carried my letter to the editor about the first class in November, which was wonderful, but listed me from Maine instead of Oregon. But perhaps someone from Maine will get enthused too and hold a class of their own there in the future. The enrollment for Feb. 5th was even better than expected because the Oregonian newspaper carried a great story about the class which brought it to the public's attention here and I was looking out at a room of 19 people, there was hardly an empty chair, and one less than the maximum allowed. It is sometimes hard to get people aware of what schools offer in the way of special interest classes because the public often don't get or look at school catalogues. I am comfortable with a small class and anyway my voice doesn't carry that far.

One woman who came to the class this time was expecting to visit and stay at the Borden house soon. Another woman gave me two post cards from when she had stayed over night in the Borden's bedroom as the only guest. One couple had bound all the LBQ's into a beautiful leather binder with a Lizzie bookmark embossed into the front which they showed me. There were lots of questions. Some of them were: Did anyone ever indicate that there might have been two weapons used? Could Lizzie have changed her dress and hid it in the barn? Did the police really check to see if Emma was at the house in Fairhaven that morning? Was the story of Lizzie killing the cat really true? Was Lizzie really planning a trip where she was going to fish? What was in LIzzie's will? Did Emma ever marry? One woman noted that if Lizzie was upstairs after Abby was killed (Bridget heard her laughing) then why didn't she see or know the body was in the guest room(?) and upon this question an interesting discussion ensued.

I think it helped giving everyone a packet with photos, lists, time lines and references so they could take the information home with them. It is so hard to take notes or remember things. Photos of the people involved makes the subject more personaI. This is important to me as I have gone to many school classes and people were talked about with no photos and it always bothered me. I also brought and talked about the LBQ, Fritz Adilz's "On the Evidence" and some other books for people to get differing views on what might happened. Besides using overheads, I also showed in addition to my other short video a 10 minute spot taped from television about the Borden house ghosts, which showed the house rooms nicely. And many again stayed late to watch the Biography video. I presented the material but tried not to slant it one way or the other. But, the class wanted to know what I thought and I said that I thought it was possible that even if Lizzie didn't do it she might have known something about it, then again maybe not. This time I was better prepared and gave more details about the wounds, blood spotting and condition of the bodies. Some of the people came and left feeling Lizzie had done it and others did not offer an opinion. Many did not know much about the case at all so the material was rather new and many did not know the hearing, trial, LIzzie's inquest testimony, etc. were on the internet. I listed the Stefani Koorey Lizzie forum site on my reference sheet and talked about it as a good place to discuss the case with others around the world and also read the documentation.

So all in all I believe we all had a happy and educational night, people seemed to enjoy it all and from the comments felt it was a very worthwhile night out. I am scheduled again in May again. By that time I hope to have a map of 1892 Fall River. Right now all I have is a modern map of the city, which I laminated so it stays intact. Why not hold a class in your own community?

Best wishes,

Carol Pedersen
Aloha, Oregon



4. UPCOMING EVENTS

This from playwright/actress Marjorie Conn, author of Lost Lesbian Lives (which includes a one-woman play about Lizzie Borden): "If there is an actor out there who want to perform Lizzie or needs scene material, the rights are available and I have not only the full play as published but a 30 minute version and a 15 minutes version." You can contact Marjorie directly.

This from Lizzie Borden Society Forum member Carol Pedersen: Carol's one-night evening adult special interest education class called The Lizzie Borden Case that was held at Portland Community College, Capital Center location, Beaverton, Oregon on February 5th, 2003 had a nice write-up in the Oregonian. Here is a link to the entire article

Conference on Guilt: The Department of English at the University of New England is sponsoring a Law and Humanities conference on the Westbrook College Campus this summer, June 14, 2003. The topic is "Guilt." The keynote speaker will be Professor Austin Sarat, founder of the Department of Law, Jurisprudence, and Social Thought at Amherst College and president of the Association for the Study of Law, Culture, and the Humanities. Cultural critic Carolyn Gage will be presenting a paper on Lizzie Borden at said conference, a reworking of her "The Real Mystery Behind the Fall River Murders" from a few years ago.Her web site can be seen here


At Women's Week 2003, a conference held at the University of Nebraska, Carolyn Gage's "Lizzie Borden & Lesbian Theatre: Axes to Grind," will be held on March 6 from 3:30 to 5 p.m. at the Great Plains Art Collection, 1155 Q St. Gage will also perform "The Second Coming of Joan of Arc" Friday at 7:30 p.m. at the 7th Street Loft, 504 S. 7th St.

Details are available at this web site




5. LIZZIE IN THE NEWZ

For the past two months, I have been reporting that Maplecroft is for sale!
Maplecroft's owner Robert Dube (pronounced Doo-bee) has the 14 rooms, 6 bedrooms, library, den, 6 fireplaces, porches, 3 full baths, 2 half baths on the market with an asking price of $725,000. He has it listed on this web site.

Since then, we have had the great good fortune of having Robert's son Michael Dube, join the Lizzie Borden Society Forum and reminisce about his childhood in the home (he lived there from age 6 to 20). You can read his wonderful tales at the Forum in several threads.

This found in Publishers Weekly, 4/15/2002, Vol. 249 Issue 15, p16.

"New Look at Lizzie Borden There's always something new to say about the Trial of the (19th) Century, and Cara Robertson, a lawyer and former Supreme Court clerk, plans to uncover it in a book just bought by Random senior editor Jonathan Karp at auction. It's called The Trial of Lizzie Borden and will climax a lifelong interest the author has had in the case since she wrote an award-winning thesis on it at Harvard. Karp bought North American rights from agent Tina Bennett at Janklow & Nesbit and plans to publish in 2005. Robertson had to agree to the deal by long-distance phone; she is at the War Crimes Tribunal in The Hague."

From "Inside the handwriting of Lizzie Borden" By Michelle Dresbold FOR THE VALLEY NEWS DISPATCH, Tuesday, February 11, 2003

Ms. Dresbold, a handwriting expert and personality profiler, analyzed Lizzie's handwriting to help determine her guilt or innocence to the crimes. Her conclusions are available at this web site.

Here is a portion of her analysis:

First, notice that Lizzie’s writing lacks spontaneity. It appears stiff, with a rigid, repetitious pattern. This monotonous, stylized, and artificial writing shows that Lizzie puts up a facade and hides her true self and motives. Often, people with this sort of mechanical looking writing show little emotion. This was the case with Lizzie Borden, whom the police noted, was emotionally “flat,” showing no signs of grief the day her beloved father and (maybe her not so beloved) stepmother were murdered.
Also, notice the strange noose-like stroke on the bottom of Lizzie’s “M’s”and the distorted hook on the “B” in Borden. Weapon-shaped letters indicate that the writer has hostile impulses and will not hesitate to use a weapon.
I have found that in artificial slowly stylized writing, like Lizzie’s, the weapon of choice is usually poison. In fact, in the weeks before their deaths, Abby and Andrew Borden had complained of stomach distress and believed that someone was trying to poison them. Eli Bence, a clerk at Smith’s Drug Store, stated that the day before the murders, Lizzie had tried to purchase ten cent’s worth of prussic acid —hydrogen cyanide in solution, which Lizzie claimed she needed to kill insects. When Bence refused to sell it to her without a prescription, Lizzie became noticeably agitated, and told the clerk that she had no trouble purchasing it there previously.
Another witness said that Lizzie had tried to buy the same poison from a different drugstore earlier that week.
Now look at the way she writes her capital “S”. Do you see how it ends with a flamboyant final stroke that curves high and upward? This shows that Lizzie enjoyed extravagant gestures and attention-getting behavior —which she used skillfully during her trial. Observers stated that her elaborate fainting scenes in court helped to win the jury over.

February 26 was the 100th Anniversary of Fall River, Mass. An article on the celebration was published in the Herald News. Of note:

This summer, the Rev. Robert Lawrence of First Congregational Church is taking part in the festivities with an eight- to nine-week Wednesday evening lecture series focusing on the city’s history.

Lawrence said the theme will be a "review of Fall River’s history" with illustrated talks. He has booked several individuals from area colleges, as well as authors from out of state, to present.
The first talk, scheduled for July 9, will be a history of Fall River that will show off a large amount of historical memorabilia.

For a taste of what will be offered, Lawrence showed two of his own historical pieces. One item is a letter written in Fall River by Buffalo Bill on Feb. 26, 1916 on Hotel Mellen stationary. Hotel Mellen stood where the Compass Bank parking lot on North Main Street does now. Lawrence also had a complaint note written to John S. Brayton from Lizzie Borden in 1900, well after the murders. The two were neighbors, and apparently the many birds in Brayton’s backyard were agitating Lizzie with their incessant chirping.

" We’ve got hundreds and hundreds of pieces like this," Lawrence said.

Although some lectures are still being confirmed and finalized, so far they look like this: July 16, lecture on the role of immigrants and mill life; July 23, Old Fall River Line; Aug. 4, a night with Lizzie Borden; Aug. 13, the role women played in shaping the city’s history; Aug. 20, a lecture about mills based on the book "Constant Turmoil;" Aug. 27, Dr. David Greer on 200 years of medicine.

Here is a link to the full text of that news article.



6. WEB SITE ADDITIONZ

I have recently added several new pages to the Lizzie Borden Virtual Museum and Library. They include:

  • Two pages of images and one of narrative detailing the Fall River Fire of 1928. Check it out here.
  • Three wonderful essays by Borden scholar Denise Noe! "Why Lizzie Will Forever Haunt Us"; "Echoes of Lizzie in Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte"; and "The Murderer Who Inadvertently Helped Miss Lizzie" The essays can be read here.
  • Seven fantastic new found photos of Nance O'Neil from the National Library of Australia. Here is a link to the photos on the web site.The photos were discovered by Forum member Kimberly Butler. Thanks Kimberly!
  • New Quick Time movies of my 92 Second Street visit of 1997 at this link
  • Harry Widdows has mapped out the parameters of the section of Fall River known as "The Hill" using the description listed in the Summer 2000 issue of the Fall River Historical Society Quarterly Report. His image can be found on page three of the Fall River Photos section of the Lizzie Borden Virtual Museum and Library here.
  • The latest archives of the Lizzie Borden Society Forum (June 1 to Dec. 31, 2002). Click here.
  • Another humorous addition to the Writer's Corner by Sherry Chapman entitled "Dear Abby". Ms. Chapman's column presents advice to questions posed by members of the cast of characters of the Borden Murders — and who answers these queries? Why none other than Abby Borden!

7. WEB SITE COMING ATTRACTIONZ

  • New images of Fall River
  • The Preliminary Hearing's closing arguments from Porter (they were not a part of the typed Preliminary Hearing that has come down to us from Jennings)--by Kat Koorey
  • A new addition to "Dear Abby"
  • Newly found image of Lizzie's high school
  • A section of book and video reviews. If you would like to have your comments posted in this section, please email me
  • The final installments of Kathleen Carbone's "This is Maplecroft"


8. LIZZIE BORDEN QUARTERLY

Considered the preeminent journal for Borden scholars, buffs, and armchair detectives, the Lizzie Borden Quarterly has been in publication since January 1993. Publisher: Gabriela Adler, Editor: Maynard F. Bertolet, published by Bristol Community College in Fall River.

Here is the table of contents from the latest (January 2003) issue:

"Nance O'Neil -- Revisited" by Judith Paula Curry
"Charles Henry Wells -- An Insider Speaks of Lizzie" by Michael Martins and Dennis Binette
"Joseph Carpenter -- Was He the One?" by Leonard Rebello and Neilson Caplan
"Joe Carpenter Probably Didn't Do It" by William Masterton
"The Lubin Film Company" by Tim Lussier
"The Trial Testimony of Alice M. Russell"
"The Known Films of Nance O'Neil"
"Bibliographic Borden" by Lisa Zawadzki
"Lizbits" by Neilson Caplain
"Lizzie On Line" by Stefani Koorey
"Princess Maplecroft" by Mary T. Cusack
"Letters to the Editor" by Carol Pedersen

To Subscribe to the Lizzie Borden Quarterly, send your name
and address and your check or money order for

U.S.A.: 1 Year $18.00, 2 Years $30.00,
Non U.S.A.: 1 Year $24.00, 2 Years $40.00

Mail To:
Lizzie Borden Quarterly
Dr. Gabriela Schalow Adler - Publisher
Bristol Community College
777 Elsbree Street
Fall River, MA. 02720-7391




9. LIZZIE GIFTS

Here is a list of the newest additions to the Lizzie Borden Gift Shop. Please visit the store at this address for contact information regarding purchasing these items.

Lizzie Borden Mouse Pads. Now for the first time you can own a Lizzie Borden Mouse Pad! The perfect holiday gift for anyone interested in the Borden murders of 1892, the history of Fall River, or Victorian America. These high quality mouse pads are 3/16th of an inch thick and measure 9.25 X 7.75 inches.This stunning mouse pad depicts Lizzie in front of the 92 Second Street house in Fall River, Mass. in which both her father and stepmother were murdered (see image). While Lizzie was tried and acquitted of the crimes, not everyone believes her to be innocent. Did she or didn't she? Shipping is $1.50 to continental US. $16.95 each or 2 for $32.00

Complete Primary Source Documents PLUS important books on the case on CD-ROM: Police Witness Statements (46 pages + full index); Inquest (2 vols.); Preliminary Hearing (5 vols., 460+ pages); Trial Transcript (2 vols., 1,900 + pages). PLUS The Fall River Tragedy (1893) by Edwin H. Porter and The Trial of Lizzie Borden (1937) by Edmund Pearson --- both books are in PDF format and contain all photographs from the original editions. All documents and books are in PDF format for easy viewing on ANY computer or operating system (Mac, PC, Linux). Now you can own all of the important primary sources on one disk! If purchased separately in hard paper format, your total would be at least $250. This copy of the Preliminary Hearing is in CORRECT ORDER. The original is not. Includes an original introductory essay that provides much needed information on the preliminary hearing process and Lizzie's process specifically. The disk includes all four documents, two important books on the case (Porter and Pearson), plus a free bonus of a large collection of photographs related to the case in jpg and gif formats, including images of the primary participants in the murder mystery and photographs of the inside and outside of the murder house, 92 Second St. in Fall River, Mass. $49.95.

The Borden Murders and Their Aftermath, as reported in the New Bedford Evening Standard. One of the foremost and complete newspapers that covered the Borden tragedy of Fall River, Massachusetts, was the New Bedford Evening Standard. Almost all books on the Borden case draw heavily from its pages. Rich in detail, these news reports capture the flavor and atmosphere from the day of the crime to Lizzie’s ultimate acquittal. Now for the first time you can have a digitized transcription of the pages of this vital resource. Arranged by date, these articles if printed out would be over 460 pages in length. This collection does not include the trial coverage itself and is intended as a complement to the primary source documents found at this website. These articles cover the daily side happenings during the period of the trial and the events leading up to it and its decision. Reading these pages is like being transported back in time to 1892-93 Fall River and New Bedford, Mass. Every attempt was made to make an exact duplicate of each daily article. This is a must for any Lizzie Borden buff who wants to read first hand about the excitement and drama surrounding the daily happenings of this extraordinary case. This important document is brought to you in PDF format for easy viewing on ANY computer or operating system (Mac, PC, Linux). The disk includes the extensive transcripts of the New Bedford Evening Standard plus a free bonus of a large collection of photographs related to the case in jpg and gif formats, including images of the primary participants in the murder mystery and photographs of the inside and outside of the murder house, 92 Second St. in Fall River, Mass. $19.95.

 Lizzie Borden -- The Murders and Their Aftermath, as reported by the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle. A little known upstate New York newspaper, the Democrat & Chronicle in Rochester, NY, devoted extensive coverage to the Borden murders in Fall River, Massachusetts and their aftermath in the years 1892 and 1893. In a series of 28 articles they present the daily happenings and events that were so captivating to the reading audience. The articles were transcribed and digitized using the exact spelling and factual errors to reflect the sense of the reporting of this real life drama and are made available for the very first time in this format. This well written and interesting series of articles is a welcome addition to any collector of material on one of the most horrific unsolved murder cases of all time. This collection is in PDF format for viewing on any computer system. The collection can be read with a free Adobe Acrobat Reader, available for download at Adobe.com. This unique and original collection has never before been offered for sale. Transcribed by Harry Widdows, famed originator of the Lizzie Borden Trial Transcript in Word format. $9.95

Lizzie Borden Screensaver! This specially created screensaver is for the Lizzie Borden buff, true crime reader, armchair detective, or historian. The screensaver contains over forty photographs covering the span of the 1892 Borden tragedy. Photos of Lizzie, the Bordens, the Morses, 92 Second Street, the victims, Fall River, Maplecroft, and the Oak Grove Cemetery graves are included. This unique and brand new item has never before been offered for sale. Created by Harry Widdows, famed originator of the Lizzie Borden Trial Transcript in Word format. This CD makes a great gift and installs in seconds on any PC running Windows. $11.95 includes FREE SHIPPING!

Lizzie Borden Bumper Sticker! Now for the first time you can own a "Lizzie Borden -- Did She or Didn't She?" bumper sticker. These high quality bumper stickers are made from the finest synthetic (polypropylene or polyester) materials. The color pigments are heat-fused onto the material.  This makes the image resistant to weather,  carwashes, etc. The stickers are flexible and easy to apply. Our bumper stickers are the standard 3" by 10" in size.  The sticker is black and white (see image). Please note that the word "COPY" does not appear on the finished bumper sticker, it is used for advertisement purposes only. $4.95 each or 2 for $9.00, shipping is only 45 cents! .

The Preliminary Hearing. 481 pages, 5 volumes. August 25 - September 1, 1892. Available for the first time in .pdf format on a CD-ROM. Searchable and complete. With introductory essay by Harry Widdows and Stefani Koorey. This copy does not require a word processing program to view as this disk's contents are in PDF format. In addition, this copy of the Preliminary Hearing is in CORRECT ORDER. The original is not. And finally, this copy of the Preliminary Hearing includes an original introductory essay that provides much needed information on the preliminary hearing process and Lizzie's process specifically. The disk includes the Preliminary Hearing plus a free bonus of a large collection of photographs related to the case in jpg and gif formats, including images of the primary participants in the murder mystery and photographs of the inside and outside of the murder house, 92 Second St. in Fall River, Mass. $19.95

The Murder of Bertha Manchester, 1893, articles of the crime from the Evening Standard, New Bedford, Mass., May 31 to June 13, 1893, on CD-ROM. Says Lizzie Borden scholar, K. Koorey, "The pitiful saga of the Bertha Manchester murder was an important addendum to the legend of the Borden Case. The murder was committed in similar style, with similar weapon, in daylight, upon an innocent woman. It’s splash upon the headlines May 31, 1893, just days before the beginning of the trial of Lizzie Borden for the hatchet murder of her father and step –mother, may have influenced a jury pool that was about to be chosen to serve in the 'Trial of the Century.'" Volume contains thirteen articles and several newspaper images. Also includes an original Introduction and Epilogue by K. Koorey. This collection is in PDF format for viewing on any computer system. The collection can be read with a free Adobe Acrobat Reader, available for download at Adobe.com. This unique and original collection has never before been offered for sale. Transcribed by Harry Widdows, famed originator of the Lizzie Borden Trial Transcript in Word format. $7.95.

Edmund Pearson The Trial of Lizzie Borden and Edwin Porter The Fall River Tragedy, on CD-ROM. Pearson, Edmund. The Trial of Lizzie Borden. New York: Doubleday, 1937. Important work that includes great quantities of trial testimony, not generally found elsewhere, but criticized for his one-sided approach which favored Lizzie as the killer. Porter, Edwin H. The Fall River Tragedy. Fall River, MA: George R. H. Buffinton, Press of J. D. Munroe, 1893. Porter's book is the first major work in the field of Borden studies. Includes many rare photographs. Both books are complete and are in PDF format for easy viewing on ANY computer (Mac, PC, Linux). The disk includes both books (and all photos from the original editions) plus a free bonus of a large collection of photographs related to the case in jpg and gif formats, including images of the primary participants in the murder mystery, and photographs of the inside and outside of the murder house, 92 Second St. in Fall River, Mass. $19.95

 Lost Lesbian Lives contains three one-woman plays written by actress and playwright Marjorie Conn. It includes The Honeymoon Years of Eleanor Roosevelt & Lorena Hickok, Miss Lizzie A. Borden Invites You to Tea, Thar She Blows! Disguised as a Boy She Went A'whaling. These works and others represent Marj's unwavering commitment to recording and restoring the lives of lesbians, lives which have been all too often erased from history. The plays in this book focus on three very different women: Lorena Hickok, an early female reporter and the lover of Eleanor Roosevelt. Lizzie Borden, the subject of the 19th Century Trial of the Century, who was also the lover of a famous actress. Isabella Chase, a fictional character patterned after the real women who disguised themselves as men and served on whaling and other ships in the mid-19th Century. Each of them encompasses a part of the North American lesbian experience, and thus is a part of our history. All 3 plays are one-woman plays and have enjoyed productions in Provincetown, MA and New York City. Excellent monologue material for women (and men in drag) of all ages.

Excellent reading material. All 3 characters have in common their love for animals. 10% of the proceeds for this book is being donated to Greyhound Rescue Organizations. Lost Lesbian Lives is a captivating read by itself, and the perfect companion for those fortunate enough to see Marj perform one or all of these great plays. Happy Reading! $17, includes shipping. $17.00

 



10. THIZ AND THATZ

Websites of interest:

  • Harry Widdows found this great site on famous Birthdays, which includes Lizzie:
  • A review of “Murder Americana:  The People vs. Lizzie Borden” from the Oak Park Journal

Wordz and Muzic: Michael Brown's song "You Can't Chop Your Poppa Up in Massachusetts"

1. One hot day in old Fall River, Mister Andrew Borden died, and they booked his daughter Lizzie on a charge of homicide. Some folks say, “She didn’t do it.” Others say, “Of course, she did.” But they all agree Miss Lizzie B. was quite a problem kid
Chorus: Cause you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts, no even if it's planned as a surprise. No you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts, you know how neighbors love to criticize.
2.  Now she got him on the the sofa, where he’d gone to take a snooze, and I hope he went to heaven, ‘cause he wasn’t wearing shoes. Lizzie kind of rearranged him with a hatchet, so they say. And then she got her mother in that same old fashioned way.
Chorus: But you can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts, not even if you're tired of her cuisine. No you can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts, if you do you know there's bound to be a scene.
3.  Oh they really kept her hopping on that August after noon, with both down and upstairs chopping while she hummed a ragtime tune. And her maw, when Lizzie whacked her, looked an auful lot like paw, Like somebody in a tractor had been backing over maw.
Chorus: Oh you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts, and then blame all the damage on the mice. No you can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts, that kind of thing just isn't very nice.
4.  Now, it wasn’t done for pleasure and it wasn’t done for spite, and it wasn’t done because the lady wasn’t very bright. She had always done the slightest thing that mom and poppa bid. They said, “Lizzie, cut it out,” and that’s exactly what she did.
Chorus: But you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts, and then get dressed to go out for a walk. No you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts, Massachusetts is a far cry from New York.

— And now for some humor:

  • An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk hide and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, chew and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, " The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
  • A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."

 


The Lizzie Borden Newzletter is published by the Lizzie Borden Virtual Museum and Library, (c) copyright 2002-2003. All rights reserved.

 
LizzieAndrewBorden.com © 2001-2008 Stefani Koorey. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Notice.
PearTree Press, P.O. Box 9585, Fall River, MA 02720

Page updated 12 October, 2003