Lizzie
Borden Newzletter — November 2003
Vol. 2, Issue 11
Contents
1. Greetingz / Newz
2. November Timeline
3. Contest for November
4. Upcoming Eventz
5. Lizzie Newz
6. Dear Abby
7. Birthdayz
8. Thiz and That
1. GREETINGZ / NEWZ
October turned out to be a month full of surprises, both positive and negative. By now you all know that we lost a dear friend recently — The Lizzie Borden Quarterly. After ten full years of publication, this superb journal has ceased operations. The October issue, I am sorry to say, is its last. Kudos go to Maynard Bertolet for his expert editing and dedication to excellence, publisher Gabriella Adler for her professional oversight, Bristol Community College for their sponsorship and support, and all the wonderful and inventive authors and contributors who have graced its pages.
"Good
night sweet prince; and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."
Hamlet, Act V, Scene ii
On the heels of this sad news, I have a BIG announcement to make! Since I need my LBQ and there isn't going to be another, I have decided to take on the task of publishing an online subscription magazine devoted to the Borden Murders, Fall River, and Victorian America. It is called The Hatchet: Journal of Lizzie Borden Studies. The journal will be published six times a year, on the 4th of the month (what else!), starting in February. I will be making an announcement soon regarding the first issue's contents and contributors.
The Hatchet is open for submissions and compensates its authors and artists for their work. For information on subscribing and submission policies, please visit the The Hatchet's web site by clicking here.
You will also note that I made some rather radical changes to the LizzieAndrewBorden.com website, including a change of logo, a new site for the publishing arm of my magazine venture, PearTree Press, a new sales site called Borden Books and Gifts with links to PayPal for online payments, and, of course, a new web site for the magazine, The Hatchet. Stop on by and see what's new!
I hope each and every one of you enjoys a safe and prosperous Thanksgiving. See you in December or on the Lizzie Borden Society Forum. Gobble, gobble!
Stefani Koorey
2. NOVEMBER TIMELINE
These are the events related to the Lizzie Borden case that occurred in the month of November:
- Nov. 5, 1824 — Lurana and Charlotte Borden, twin sisters of ABJ, born
- Nov. 7, 1836 — Albert Mason born in Middleboro, MA; Chief Justice at Lizzie's trial in 1893
- Nov. 7, 1850 — Melvin Ohio Adams, born in Ashburnham, MA
- Nov. 9, 1874 — Grace Hartley Howe born in Fall River
- Nov. 10, 1861 — Nellis (Smith) Clark born in Norwich, CT (Mrs. Rufus Hilliard)
- Nov. 11, 1916 — Jane Baker dies at 89 years, 2nd wife of Oliver Gray, father of Abby Borden
- Nov. 13, 1821 — William Almy born in Portsmouth, RI, partner to ABJ
- Nov. 14, 1826 — Jane Baker, 2nd wife of Oliver Gray and stepmother to Priscilla and Abby, is born
- Nov. 14 1947 — Marie Belloc Lowndes dies at 80 years in England, author of Lizzie Borden: A Study in Conjecture (1939)
- Nov. 15 - 21, 1892 — Grand Jury convened at Superior Court in Taunton to hear evidence in the Borden case
- Nov. 20, 1920 — Emma signs her will
- Nov.
23, 1854
— Abraham Borden marries Bebe Wilmarth (her 1st marriage) in
Fall River by Rev. Asa Bronson
3. CONTEST!!!
Once again I feel like giving things away!
Here are the rules of this contest: Come up with the most imaginative and humorous response and win! Winners will be blindly determined by a committee of Borden buffs. Entries must be received by 12 noon on Sunday, November 23rd. Enter as often as you wish. I will announce the winners in next month's Newzletter!!
What are the prizes you ask? First place wins a beautiful oversized mug decorated with pears. Second place wins a Lizzie Borden door hanger (one side says "Enter at Your Own Risk" and the other "Please Knock and Axe Me if You Can Enter"). Third place wins a book of 24 Old-Time Cats Stickers.
THE CONTEST:
Nobody
knows why Emma left Lizzie in 1905. So we might as well make some
funny guesses!
QUESTION?
Why did Emma move out of Maplecroft in 1905?
Email your responses to: NovemberContest@lizzieandrewborden.com
4. UPCOMING EVENTZ:
The
Shaw Festival announces a 20% discount to subscribers of the
Lizzie Borden Newzletter to "Blood Relations" by
Sharon Pollock, written 1980, June to November 30.
“a psychological rollercoaster ride”—the Toronto Star
Blood Relations by Sharon Pollock - at the Shaw Festival
in Niagara-on-the-Lake, running now until November 30th.
Receive a 20% discount on tickets to see Blood Relations*
Lizzie fans like you, won’t want to miss this fascinating interweaving
of fact and legend in Sharon Pollock’s Blood Relations. Although
Lizzie was never convicted and walked away from the murder trial with her freedom,
her notoriety never faded. Pollock picks up her story ten years later, when
Lizzie’s relationship with a Boston Actress draws them both into re-enacting
the events that led up to the murders.
Call 1-800-511-7429 to order tickets, or to receive Shaw
Festival information.
*Tickets are for selected performances. Call the Box Office for details.
Quote discount code LF when ordering.
The
Shaw Festival is one of the largest repertory companies in North America,
and the only theatre that specializes in plays written by Bernard Shaw
and his contemporaries — "plays about the beginning of the
modern world." Productions run April to November in three different
theatres, in a beautiful village 20 minutes down-river from Niagara
Falls, and two hours from Toronto.
Visit
their web site for ticket information.
5. LIZZIE (and Fall River) IN THE NEWZ
Lizzie
Borden made a guest appearance at a haunted tour recently!
Check out the details of the New Bedford Preservation Society
and Wamsutta Club hosting of "Historical Happenings."
Below
the Hill, long lost 1964 film about Fall River found! It
was screened to a sell out audience at Bristol Community College
on Oct. 30th.
CNN/MONEY.COM
published a nice little piece about haunted hotels and included
92 Second Street with photographs by yours truly and John Clark!
LIZZIE
FOUND GUILTY?! That's what it says! Of course it is a story about
the new Lizzie play Trial by Theory by Paul Fletcher.
Two interesting stories await you here and here.
© 2002 HW
6. DEAR ABBY - by Sherry Chapman
Dear Abby - Don't you think it unusual that your step-daughters entertain their women callers upstairs in the guest room? - Dora Jarr, Fall River
Dear Dora - No I do not. It is their own business. I have offered them the use of the parlor for visitors, but Lizzie told me they have a perfectly gay time upstairs.
Dear Abby - If you could choose your own way to die, what would it be? - Orrin Kevorkian, Marion
Dear Orrin - I don't think I'd want to know what hit me.
Mrs. Borden - I have tried the "Rough on Rats" product that sponsored your column last month. I am most disappointed. The product did not work. I have two rats I am trying to get rid of. One is an old, thin thing. He sometimes works his way to my heart, but a rat is a rat. The other is a big, fat, horribly ugly female I wanted gone like five years ago. The poison was ingested, but it caused nothing more than flu-type symptoms. What else can I try to rid the home of these pests? - Lizbeth, Barn/Stable
Dear Lizbeth - I have consulted a professional on the matter. He tells me that "Rough on Rats" is quite reliable and asks if you are sure you used enough for their size (that female sounds like she was 'Biggie Sized' at Wendy's - the Ice Cream Parlour at Rocky Point). Since I did not have your answer to tell the man, he said you could try the product again in a larger dose. If that is not to your liking, he suggests you hire a male third party to use a physical weapon on them. Surely not something a lady would want to do herself.
Dear Abby - I work by your home, and every time I see your servant girl, Bridget, I practically melt. Tell me, Abby. Would your husband object should I come ovah and chat while she's out in the yahd? - F. Lavalle, Fall River Ice Company
Dear Sir - Yes. And I suggest you stay inside your place of business to keep cool.
Dear Abby - Can you tell me when the latest city directory will be out? - Searching on South Main
Dear Searching - The latest listing of our residents was out yesterday, in Old Fall River.
Confidential to Charles C. Cook: If you had written me before your wedding, I could have told you that "Wealthy" was only Miss Winslow's first name - not a financially-slanted nickname.
7. BIRTHDAYZ:
-
Happy Birthday Greetings to the following Newzletter subscribers:
November 5 — Diana Griffiths
November 21 — Colin Miller
November 25 — Debbie Smith
8. THIZ AND THATZ:
-
Membership in the Fall River Historical Society: Membership to the Historical Society is available for the following rates: Individual ($25.00 per year); Family (2 adults and all children under 17 living at the same address, $40.00 per year); Lifetime ($500.00). Member benefits include: Member newsletter; unlimited free admission for museum tours for member and one guest; invitations to quarterly meetings; invitations to "Members Only" previews and social gatherings; 10% discount on Museum Shop and mail order sales; special travel opportunities; discounted research rates; other special member privileges. All memberships are renewable annually on May 1, excepting Lifetime. Museum membership is payable by check, money order, or credit card (Visa, MasterCard, or American Express). The application can be mailed, accompanied by payment, to:
Fall River Historical Society
451 Rock Street
Fall River, Massachusetts 02720
Checks should be made payable to FALL RIVER HISTORICAL SOCIETY. Memberships paid by credit card may be faxed to (508) 675-5754.
— And now for some humor: (thanks John!) HOW TO SING THE BLUES:
1) Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning..."
2) "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, 'less you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."
3) The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes . . . sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound."
4) The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch--ain't no way out.
5) Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft an' state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.
6) Teenagers can't sing the Blues. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
7) Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.
8) A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cause you skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chomping on it is.
9) You can't have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.
10) Good places for the Blues: a) Highway; b) Jailhouse; c) Empty bed; d) Bottom of a whiskey glass. Bad places for the Blues: a) Dillard's; b) Gallery openings; c) Ivy League institutions; d) Golf courses
11) No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be a old ethnic person, and you slept in it.
12) Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if a) You older than dirt; b) You blind; c) You shot a man in Memphis; d) You can't be satisfied. No, if a) You have all your teeth; b) You were once blind but now can see; c) The man in Memphis lived; d) You have a 401K or trust fund.
13) Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.
14) If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are a) Cheap wine; b) Whiskey or bourbon; c) Muddy water; d) Nasty black coffee. The following are NOT Blues beverages: a) Perrier; b) Chardonnay; c) Snapple; d) Slim Fast.
15) If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or getting liposuction.
16) Some Blues names for women: a) Sadie; b) Big Mama; c) Bessie; d) Fat River Dumpling
17) Some Blues names for men a) Joe; b) Willie; c) Little Willie; d) Big Willie
18) Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
19) Make your own Blues name Starter Kit: a) Name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.); b) First name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.); c) Last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.); d) For example, Blind Lime Jefferson, Jake leg Lemon Johnson or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")
20) I don't care how tragic your life, if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues.
The Lizzie
Borden Newzletter is published by the Lizzie Borden Virtual Museum and
Library, (c) copyright 2003. All rights reserved.
LizzieAndrewBorden.com © 2001-2002 Stefani Koorey. All rights reserved.
Page updated 4 November, 2003