Bridget’s Kitchen, August, 2007

by Sherry Chapman

First published in August/September, 2007, Volume 4, Issue 3, The Hatchet: Journal of Lizzie Borden Studies.

I wish they’d hurry up with their breakfast in the dinin’ room so I can get their dishes done.  I wanna get my work done erly today so I can go some place nice and cool on my afternoon off.  Today I think I’ll go and see Ernie at the ice house.  I’ll hang out there some afternoons when it’s hot enough.  He lets me stay as long as I want to but I gotta pay his price for it.  I don’t mind too much, but it costs me a good amount of Hail Marys come Confession.  

Oh, Sweet Jesus.  They’re laughin’ it up and talkin’ in there with no end to it in sight.  Mr. Morse asked Mr. Borrden why didn’t he buy Jay Gould’s yacht.  Oh, and that’s sure to happen.  The man doesn’t even give his own family a proper toilet, and he’s gonna buy a yacht.  No wonder they’re all laughin’.

Last night visitin’ my cousins we had a hearty laugh over Dennis Sullivan and one of his stories.  With his stories, ya can’t tell if they be true or not.  But if last night’s was, you can bet he got it on the noggin’ with the fryin pan after everyone went home.

He says he goes to confession last week an’ of course he says, “Bless me Father for I have sinned.  I have been with loose women.”  The priest says, “Is that you, Dennis Sullivan?”  Dennis admitted it was.  “And who was the woman you were with?” the priest asked him.  “I can’t be tellin’ you, Father.  I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”  “Well, Dennis.  I’m sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now.  Was it Maggie O’Brien?”  “I cannot say.”  “Was it Patsy Monahan?”  “I’ll never tell.”  “Was it Rusty O’Connor?”  “I’m sorry, Father, but I’ll not tell her name.”  “Was it Erin Murphy?”  “You may as well stop askin’.”  “Ah!  I seen the way you’ve looked at Kathleen —-”  “No, it wasn’t Kathleen.  Just give me what’s due me.”  The priest sighed in frustration.  “You’re a steadfast lad, Dennis Sullivan, and I admire that.  But you’ve sinned, and you must atone.”  He gave Dennis penance and dismissed him.  Dennis walks back to his pew.  His friend Kevin slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”  Dennis said, “Five good leads.”

Oh, now Mrs. Borrden is askin’ Mr Morse where he gets his suit at.  That Mr. Morse is such a character.  He didn’t even notice it when Mrs. Borrden referred to it singular.  He only wears one a year, and I could swear he wore this one last year.  It had checkerboard squares on it last year.  I ‘spect they’ve rubbed off by now.  

Well, seein’ as they’ll be a good while let’s stay in the kitchen here and I’ll show you how to make a good Irish soup called

DUBLIN CODDLE

Yer gonna need:

A pound of sliced bacon
2 pounds of pork sausage links
2 onions, peeled and sliced
2 cloves of whole garlic
4 big potatoes, sliced thick
2 carrots, sliced thick
1 Bouquet Garni – ready made in yer better stores or you can make it yourself when you come to the 8th instruction
Black pepper
4 cups or so of apple cider
And some chopped parsley to fancy it up a little

Only 11 steps to yer soup:

1. Fry bacon till crisp

2. Drain the grease outta the pan and wipe the pan out with a towel

3. Brown the link sausages

4. Put both yer bacon and yer sausages in a larger pot.

5. Drain the fryin pan again, wipe it out, then put in yer onions and garlic cloves.  Cook ‘em over a low heat till you soften the onions.

6. Add the onions and garlic to the bacon and sausage.

7. Add the sliced potato and carrot.

8. Now here’s where your Bouquet Garni comes in:  Get yourself about a 3” square of cheesecloth, place 1 bay leaf, ½ small spoon tarragon, 2 whole cloves, and 2 whole peppercorns.  Tie it with twine and put in pot.

9. Pour apple cider over everything (or apple juice).

10. Cover and simmer for an hour and a half over medium-low heat.  The soup should not boil.

11. Serve, sprinkling a tad of parsley and black pepper on top.

This’ll make about 8 to 10 servins.

Ah, at last there goes Mrs. Borrden’s bell.  I’ll leave you with this:

A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud,

Who was frightened and screamed very loud.

Then a happy thought hit her

To scare off the critter

She sat up in bed and meowed.

God’s blessin’s on ya all.                   

Now this ain’t a real moist cake. It’s on the dry side, which makes it real good to have with yer tea.  And best of all, it uses up some of the pears around here!

May you have warm words on a cold evening,
A full moon on a dark night,
And the road downhill all the way to your door.