Murderer Exposed?

by Brenda Kern

First published in Spring, 2009, Volume 6, Issue 1, The Hatchet: Journal of Lizzie Borden Studies.

Many, many years ago . . .

over 116, to be kinda exact,

a couple of old people were thoroughly killed.

Boy, oh boy, did they get whacked!  

Suspicion zeroed in on the younger daughter

of the old guy—Andrew was his name.

The other victim was his second wife, Abby:

these two Bordens, that day, came to fame.  

But they didn’t become as famous as Lizzie,

the only one the police ever arrested.

Lots of groups believed her guiltless

and about her “persecution” they protested.  

One thing, they claimed, proved her innocence—

she didn’t have blood on her at all!

Not on her hair, her clothes, or her skin;   

she was as clean as a brand new doll.  

Some other folks thought Lizzie a murderess—BUT—

over the lack of blood they repeatedly stumbled.

They thought, they pondered, and tapped their brows:

then into a solution they tumbled!  

Naked!  Buck naked!  Aha!  That’s it! 

They were delighted with this naughty notion.

Plus it added an element of daring

to a tale already seething with emotion.  

Could she have raised the hatchet in the buff

and rained down blows one by one?

Could she have killed completely starkers, and . . .

would this disqualify her from becoming a nun?

While chopping people up in your birthday suit—

um, do you pause to lower the shade?

And when you’ve got everything hanging out,

do you have to be more careful with the blade?

They wondered, “What was going through her mind, 

while she was ‘in all her glory’?”

They wondered if the police would dare to add

a nude young lady to the story.

Did her state of being unclothed 

extend all the way to her head?

With no bonnet on to have a bee in

did she have the decency to blush red?

Utterly disrobed, and centerfold-ready

was a most un-Victorian state in which to preen . . .

But, then, she wasn’t stark naked at all

when other people came on the scene.

Did she run up the stairs after murder number two? 

(and never mind the tell-tale creaking . . .)

She knew she had to dress before calling the maid:  

these days we’d call that ‘streaking.’  

So, she must have gotten dressed in a flash

and fastened each loop, snap, and button

so quickly, so efficiently, without any delay

(likely it was good she skipped the mutton).  

Did she do it, naked or dressed, 

or . . . could it be . . . that she did not?

The only ones who really know

are buried together, in one plot.

Did Lizzie Borden get undressed that day,

And show her dad and step-mom her bum?

They both are, as you would expect . . . 

sigh . . .

absolutely, maddeningly mum.