by Larry Allen

First published in April/May, 2008, Volume 5, Issue 2, The Hatchet: Journal of Lizzie Borden Studies.

Wanted:  Coachman, lover, someone who doesn’t mind a strong-willed woman.

Applicant must keep his mouth shut when instructed to do so.

Money not an issue.

Semi-attractive woman with eyes of steel gray.

Strong enough to keep you in line, buster!

Handy with an ax.

Loves to have squirrels crawling all over her.

A bit of a petty thief and a stay at home, but you can’t have everything.

Inquire at 7 French Street,

Fall River.