Lizzie Borden Society Forum

Has there ever been anything known about Abby's interaction with her relatives, especially children? It would be interesting to know if she was a warm, caring person with them. It would put more light on how much she tried to extend herself to her stepdaughters or if she was indifferent and cold. It would also show if Lizzie and Emma were reacting to an unfeeling person, or if Abby didn't stand a chance with them no matter how she may have reached out.

Angel @ Fri Sep 22, 2006 7:52 am wrote:Has there ever been anything known about Abby's interaction with her relatives, especially children? It would be interesting to know if she was a warm, caring person with them. It would put more light on how much she tried to extend herself to her stepdaughters or if she was indifferent and cold. It would also show if Lizzie and Emma were reacting to an unfeeling person, or if Abby didn't stand a chance with them no matter how she may have reached out.

All I know is from Robt Sullivan's interview of Abby Borden Whitehead Potter, but don't remember anything. We know that Old Abby asked Andy Borden to help out and buy the outstanding share of that house. Her stepbrother and sister in law needed help. Andy bought her Mom's share and gave it to Abby. That house was split 4 ways after her father's death. Abby, her stepmom, her brother & sister. Abby gave up her share (no mention of any price, or if she was married then).

My assumption would be that Abby was a kind person, and helpful (like that missing message that was to draw her away to help a relative). But just like other persons, she would have her dislikes. (Don't we all?)

I'm not sure who these family members are that ray refers to. I hate to say it but please disregard his info on the subject. Also, Abby Potter was not a "Borden."

You may know this about Abby:

Rebello, pgs. 22 and 23:

"Abby Durfee Gray Borden

m.2 Abby Durfee Gray, born January 21, 1828, and died August 4, 1892. She was the daughter of Oliver Gray and Sarah Sawyer Gray. Andrew J. Borden married Abby Durfee Gray, June 6, 1865."
~ ~ ~ ~

"Gray Family

Oliver Gray, father of Abby Durfee Gray, was born in Tiverton, Rhode Island, and died August 8, 1878, at the age of seventy-seven. His first wife was Sarah Sawyer. She died December 22, 1860, at the age of 66. The marriage produced two children.

m. 1 Sarah Sawyer
1. Priscilla B. Gray, born in 1820, and died January 25, 1894.
m. George H. Fish, died in January 4, 1894.

2. Abby Durfee Gray, born January 21, 1828, and died August 4, 1892.
m. Andrew Jackson Borden, born September 13, 1822, and died August 4, 1892.

m. 2 Oliver's second wife was Jane Eldredge D. (Baker), a widow, born in Bakersville, Massachusetts, November 14, 1826, and died November 11, 1916, at the age of eighty-nine. She was the stepmother of Priscilla (Gray) Fish and Abby (Gray) Borden.

1. Sarah Bertha "Bertie" Gray, born in 1864, and died in 1932.
m. George W. Whitehead, born in 1861, and died at the age of 38 in 1898. The marriage produced two children.
1. Abby B. Whitehead, born July, 1884, and died in Warwick, Rhode Island, at the age of 89, May 9, 1974.
m. Charles E. Potter
2. George O. Whitehead, born, March 1887.

Note: Jane Eldredge D. (Baker) Gray's first husband Obed Eldredge was lost at sea in 1857. This marriage produced two children. (1) Henry H. Eldredge. He died at the age of 32 of consumption on April 16, 1882, in South Dartmouth, Massachusetts. (2) Lucy J. (Eldredge) Cahoon. (Date of birth, marriage and death unknown)

Priscilla (Gray) Fish died in Hartford, Connecticut, January 25, 1894. (Fall River Evening News, January 27, 1894: 8 and the Hartford Daily Courant, January 24, 1894: 5) Her husband, George Fish, died January 4, 1894. (Hartford Daily Courant, January 4, 1894: 5)

Also: No records could be located to determine if Abby was related to the Durfee family."

--Also, Bill Pavao wrote a really good article on Abby Borden for the LBQ:
Pavao, William L. “Abby Durfee Borden: Portrait of a Stepmother.” Lizzie Borden Quarterly Vol. IX.1 (January 2002): 10-20.
Lengthy portrait of the personality and life of Abby Durfee Gray Borden, by the curator of the Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast Museum. Two photographs of Abby, one of Sarah, one of Bridget, and one of Abby dead, accompany the text."
http://lizzieandrewborden.com/Resources ... Auth.htm#p

--If you have the source documents and access to any newspapers you might be able to find out some answers to your questions about Abby.

I'm not sure who these family members are that ray refers to. I hate to say it but please disregard his info on the subject. Also, Abby Potter was not a "Borden."

Abby's niece (Little Abby) was named "Abby Borden" Whitehead. When married she was Abby Borden Whitehead Potter.
I think you owe me an apology. I'm not always right, either.

how manay neices and nephews did abby have and was she close to them at all? I mean it's one thing to see everyone once a year, but another to see them year around.