Lizzie Borden Society Forum

Any clues why both Emma and Lizzie was not married?
Seem strange to have both of 'em at home when the family was rich. There should have been no problems marry them off easily. Or??

Read Washington Square by Henry James!

Seriously, though, weren't Emma and Lizzie considred "beyond" marriageable age by 1892? Maybe Lizzie was just on the cusp, but Emma, as a 42 year-old, was certainly off the counter.

It's not kind, but it's the way things were.

yeees,
they sure was "old maids" both of them.
I meant when they we're younger...
no respectable gentlemen ringing on the Borden door,
or marriage proposals?
I do understand that the Victorian times made it impossible for Lizzie and Emma to live by themselves, but it seem strange they didn't marry them off at younger age especially when the family had the opportunity to do so.

Abby managed to find a new husband, and she was old.

Arnold R. Brown succintly explains it in his book.

Any man who was poor or even middle class would be considered a fortune hunter by Andy. Any man who was as rich or richer could find a better wife than the granddaughter of a fish peddler.

Without parental approval, kiss Lizzie's inheritance goodbye. Anyone poor or middle class could find a better bargain than the daughter of a rich man used to having a maid.

Its basically a question of a "fair deal".

nishmat @ Mon Feb 26, 2007 1:45 pm wrote:Any clues why both Emma and Lizzie was not married?
Seem strange to have both of 'em at home when the family was rich. There should have been no problems marry them off easily. Or??

I think for Lizzie and Emma that men were an option, not a necessity.

bobarth @ Mon Feb 26, 2007 7:03 pm wrote:

nishmat @ Mon Feb 26, 2007 1:45 pm wrote:Any clues why both Emma and Lizzie was not married?
Seem strange to have both of 'em at home when the family was rich. There should have been no problems marry them off easily. Or??

I think for Lizzie and Emma that men were an option, not a necessity.

I know of a former younger neighbor who married in her late 20s. After her husband died young of cancer in his 40s she never remarried (pension etc., no children). But I don't know what her life is really like.

I think Bobbie is close to what I think, too.
If the Borden girls had wanted to, they probably could have married. They would have to get themselves out there and be appealing tho, to get a husband. I don't know as Andrew had much to do with that. I think Abbie might have more to contribute to a plan to get a (step)daughter engaged.

I also think, that at that time in American history- a lot of men died in the Civil War, and maybe it took a generation to recover? There might not have been a lot of choice, if the girls were inclined to marry at all.

BTW: I have not yet found Abraham's occupation as being a *fish-peddler* in any census. I don't know the source of that.

Kat @ Mon Feb 26, 2007 8:19 pm wrote: I also think, that at that time in American history- a lot of men died in the Civil War, and maybe it took a generation to recover? There might not have been a lot of choice, if the girls were inclined to marry at all.

.

The Civil War might explain to a degree why Emma may have had a limited number of men to choose from but I really don't think it explains things for Lizzie. Lizzie was only about five years old when the Civil War came to an end. Most of the men her age were also about five or maybe ten years old if you go for boys five years older than her. You would have to jump up to boys ten years older than her before you might see a group that was effected by the Civil War. And even then those boys were only just turning fifteen in the last year of the War.

I think by and large Lizzie had men to choose from who were either her age or 5-7 years older than her. I think she simply didn't want to get married.

Hi! I was wondering where you've been!

thanks for your replies...I didn't think of the civil war when I posted my question and these factors make sense, or at least of some importance.

DWilly @ Mon Feb 26, 2007 9:35 pm wrote:

Kat @ Mon Feb 26, 2007 8:19 pm wrote: I also think, that at that time in American history- a lot of men died in the Civil War, and maybe it took a generation to recover? There might not have been a lot of choice, if the girls were inclined to marry at all.
.

The Civil War might explain to a degree why Emma may have had a limited number of men to choose from but I really don't think it explains things for Lizzie. Lizzie was only about five years old when the Civil War came to an end. Most of the men her age were also about five or maybe ten years old if you go for boys five years older than her. You would have to jump up to boys ten years older than her before you might see a group that was effected by the Civil War. And even then those boys were only just turning fifteen in the last year of the War.

I think by and large Lizzie had men to choose from who were either her age or 5-7 years older than her. I think she simply didn't want to get married.

A. S. Mercer (and others?) set up an immigration scheme for New England girls to come to Washington or Oregon to find work and husmands.

I doubt if the daughters of the wealthyng would ever consider this?
PS
I wonder how many are reading their own emotions into 120 yrs ago?