Lizzie Borden Society Forum

Here is something just for the fun of it.

You know you are getting old when:

1. You can't remember what the "red" traffic light means until you are half-way through the intersection,

2. You stop for "green" traffic lights,

3. You lock all of your car doors only to come back two hours later and find that you left all your windows rolled down,

4. You spend 10 minutes looking for your sun glasses only to find they've been on top of your head the whole time,

5. You forget how to spell the word "the",

6. You rush back into the house to get something and forget what it was you wanted to get,

7. You groom yourself in the mirror and then leave your house with your fly wide open or the back of your dress stuck in the waist band of your panty hose and you are the last one to notice,

8. You forget your grandchildren's names,

9. You refer to yourself as being "39" again for the umteenth time,

10. You get excited when an old B&W movie comes on and most young people have never even seen one,

11. Kids ask you what it was like in the "olden days",

12. Middle-aged people address you as "sir" or "mame" and it is not because they think you are in their age bracket,

13. Young kids ask you if they were still making silent films when you were a kid,

14. You enjoy re-runs of Lawrence Welk,

15. You pay more attention to laxative commercials,

16. You begin wearing "sensible" shoes,

17. You remember the '60's and you were there,

18. You can feel what the weather is going to be like tomorrow,

19. The name "Metamucil" takes on a whole new meaning,

20. You never go anywhere without knowing exactly where all the public restrooms are.

Did I miss any?

-1bigsteve (o:

Well, this is one that I have personally found myself doing. I don't know if it means I'm getting old or not but...

You know you're getting old when you call someone and forget who you are calling while the phone is still ringing.

Now that I am admitting my real age, (41) I have decreed that the 40's are the new 20's.

Audrey @ Sun Jan 22, 2006 11:38 am wrote:Now that I am admitting my real age, (41) I have decreed that the 40's are the new 20's.

Atta girl Audrey!! We are not getting older, only wiser and better!! Yesssss!!!

I've done the same thing, Allen. It's only worse when you forget what your phone number is when leaving a message on their box. "You can call me back at... umm, at um, lets see my number is, um, oh cra..." Of course it is captured on tape for their amusement!

-1bigsteve (o:

Some people are old when they're in their 20's. Others never grow old. I remember with great fondness the movie Harold and Maude. Ruth Gordon was like that in real life too. Anytime I saw her on TV it gave me a renewed resolution to stay young at heart forever like she did, with the joy of life and the love of learning something new every day. I embarrass the hell out of my boys sometimes when I start dancing in unusual places or do something silly, but they will just have to deal with it.

1bigsteve--you are scaring me. Boy, I'm glad that I'm not getting old.

Everybody is getting older except us, right Cynthia? That's the spirit!

I loved Ruth Gorden, Angel, especially in Eastwood's film "Every Which Way But Loose." That scene of her on the front porch when those bikers come up to give her a hard time and she opens up on them with that shotgun! That part kills me!! She gets up to go into the house griping about being a "defenseless old woman" and she is lugging that shotgun and it's almost as big as she is. Mean while those bikers are heading for high ground with their motorcycles all shot up! That has got to be a classic! I laugh my butt off at that one.

-1bigsteve (o:

Harold and Maude is one of my favorite all-time movies!

1bigsteve: some "signs" of which I am guilty but normally refuse to acknowledge are on this list.

1. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
(cats don't care if your dead as long as they are warm, though I understand they eat you if you don't feed them when they are hungry)

2. Your back goes out more than you do.
(fortunately, it healed)

3. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
(Ouch!)

4. You buy a compass for the dash of your car/truck.
(no, I have maps and learned all that Girl Scout stuff as a child!)

5. You are proud of your lawn mower.
(no, just concerned about its health.)

6. Your best friend is dating someone half their age, and isn't breaking any laws.
(And boy, am I jealous!)

7. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
(Progressive lenses)

8. You sing along with the elevator music.
(mostly I hum)

9. You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
(yes, but I am currently unemployed)

10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
(nursing student!)

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
(Did I ever tell you about the time I was clocked at 120 on the Mass Pike in a Chevy Vega?)

12. People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
(never, look at the time I'm posting)

13. You answer a question with, "Because I said so."
(Another Ouch!)

14. You send money to PBS.
(doesn't everyone? Go, WGBH!)

15. The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.(no)

16. You take a metal detector to the beach.
(no, I wish I HAD a metal detector to take to the beach.)

17. You know what the word "equity" means.
(MBA!)

18. You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch
television.
(sad, but true)

19. Your ears are hairier than your head.
(no, thank you very much)

20. You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
(another sad, but true--I don't even get 'high' on the stuff they peddle today. It just makes me sleepy...)

21. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
(it's where to get the best interest rates at the moment)

22. You got cable for The Weather Channel.
(it's NEW ENGLAND, for pete's sake!)

23. You can go bowling without drinking.
(but won't)

24. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
(and it was OUTDOORS!)

25. People send you this list.
(hi, 1bigsteve!)

Actually, I am struggling over the issue of hair color. I need to start looking for a part-time and/or summer job. I had let my hair go silver, and I think it looks very pretty, but I find I am more quickly hired if I am "blond."

When I was a kid, people expected to be gray in their 50s. Recently, someone told me that no one marketable lets themselves go gray before the age of 70. How's that for an OUCH!

I think there is Champagne Blond in my future.

If those are your comments in parenthesis, they are very creative! Thanks for the supplemental list Cynthia!!

You know you're getting old when, although you've always been a great speller, you often find yourself writing or typing the wrong homonym (murderous, murderess) or committing spellings like "beaurocrat" for "bureaucrat" (and I've studied French too!)

Thanks. You guys made me feel like a baby. I'm 26, and am feeling old already. I feel like I should still be 17.

Lizthemadcow @ Tue Feb 14, 2006 7:46 pm wrote:Thanks. You guys made me feel like a baby. I'm 26, and am feeling old already. I feel like I should still be 17.

26?? Hey, who let the children in here!?

I can't even remember being 26. I'd give my left arm to be that young again. Hey, I'd settle on 36. In fact 46 is looking pretty darn good but unfortunately it is a speck in my rear view mirror.

My dad was forced to retire at 59 and he spent all of his time complaining about getting older. "I'm going to die when I'm seventy" he always said. Now that he is pushing 80 he looks back with regret at all those years he wasted worrying about "dying" when he could have been enjoying those priceless years by "living." I tried my best to warn him all that time but you know how much faith our parents have in our smarts.

"Oh, what the heck do you know about anything, son. Heck, son, when I was your age I could buy a car for 25 cent. Heck, I walked 50 miles everyday to school and back with no shoes on in snow up to my crotch! I was smart enough to know I didn't need to waste no money on no gawl dern tooth paste. How old are you now son? 112? Well, heck son your still wet behind the ears. What the heck could you know? Now, where the heck did I put my dentures?"

I live by the moto, "Spend your time dying, or spend your time living. The choice is your's." But, what the heck do us "young uns" know.

-1bigsteve (o:

That was pretty funny! Thanks for the commentary!

You know your getting old when......when.......ahhhh? I'll get back to you on that......

Exactly!

I forgot a couple:

1. You turn the shower on and forget to get in,

2. You find yourself dripping with sweat with dumbbells in your hands and you can't remember what exercise you just finished or if you finished it

I've been doing both of these lately.

-1bigsteve (o: