I was Married at the Lizzie Borden Bed & Breakfast

by Pam Howe

First published in August/September, 2004, Volume 1, Issue 4, The Hatchet: Journal of Lizzie Borden Studies.

Like most little girls, I fantasized about my wedding day from about the time I was four years old. I dreamed of the design of the dress, the color of the flowers, and the flavor of the wedding cake. I didn’t think too much about the groom because I had confidence that detail would eventually fall into place. Unlike most little girls, however, I also had a surprising fascination with the story of an accused murderess. I still had fun with my Barbie dolls and played house, but I also thought about Miss Lizzie Borden and tried to coax information about her from my dad and an aunt who lived in Swansea. I’m sure my family thought that, in time, this “macabre” interest would fade. But never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that my wedding and my fascination with Lizzie Borden would one day combine into a single event—and that the world would be so interested!

I met my groom in high school. Dave was in one of my classes and my girlfriend had a crush on him. So did I, but she spoke up first. They dated for a while but somehow Dave and I always ended up together having fun. After graduating from high school we continued to stay in touch. I still had feelings for him and after several years of just being good friends, he finally realized that he had feelings for me too. A romance blossomed that eventually led to our engagement.

Dave was great about my interest in Lizzie Borden. Like everyone else, he thought it was an odd hobby but he asked questions about it and seemed more interested than most. He even accompanied me to the Centennial Conference in Fall River and said he actually had fun. Once he was among other Borden buffs and saw that I wasn’t the only one interested in the case, he really started to embrace it. He even joked that when he was ready to propose he would do it on the steps of 92 Second Street, since getting into the house would never happen. I predicted out loud that I would eventually get into that house—and did I ever succeed!

Dave and I became engaged on March 30th, 1995. He proposed to me in a park in Beacon Falls, Connecticut, where he lived. It was beautiful. He later apologized that he didn’t propose to me in Fall River like he had wanted. I couldn’t have been happier—I was getting married!

We started our wedding plans and had originally scheduled a traditional one with the dress, flowers, three-tiered cake, and all the trimmings. Preparations, however, were slow and we seemed to encounter problems at every turn. For some reason, Dave’s family wasn’t happy about us getting married and they thwarted any plans I tried to make. After months of this stress, I found myself at the end of my rope. Dave tried everything to make peace, but his family just wouldn’t budge. He knew I was unhappy, but didn’t want to fight with his family, either. He was stuck in the middle. Then one Sunday morning my dad showed us an interesting item in the paper.

“Famous Lizzie Borden House to open as a B & B,” the article announced. I knew I had to immediately write and secure a reservation. I jumped for joy as I was finally going to get inside the house! But Dave had another idea: to have two weddings. We would write to Martha McGinn and Ron Evans, the owners of the house, he said, and ask them if we could elope there. We would bring just two of our closest friends, tell no one else, and still have our traditional wedding for the family. That way, I would have one day where his family had no say in what we did. We wrote to Martha and Ron and they loved the idea. They arranged for us to be married on the 104th anniversary of the crimes, Sunday, August 4th, 1996 by Richard Borden, an actual relative of Lizzie’s. I couldn’t be happier. Then, the elopement was leaked to the press. . . . 

I came home late one night from my college classes to find my dad furiously vacuuming the whole house. He turned around and took one look at me. “Are you getting married at Lizzie Borden’s house?” he asked. 

“No,” I said, not wanting to hurt his feelings about being left out of the plans. 

“Don’t lie to me,” he angrily responded. 

So out came the whole story—about my future in-laws being difficult, my frustration at the planning of the big event, and how Dave was trying to give me a special day. “Well,” he responded after a moment’s thought, “I’m coming too.” 

I asked my dad how he found out about the plans. He told me that a local radio station had called. He was just going to bed and had taken out his teeth when the phone rang. A reporter started interviewing him over the phone! He was shocked and speechless. 

After that, everyone found out—everyone, that is, but Dave’s family. Both my parents and myself tried to convince Dave it was time to tell them about the elopement but he was angry with them for being so difficult. He was bent on giving me my special day.

And that’s when it all started. We got calls for interviews and gave them both over the phone and in person. Local news channels, Time, Life, and People magazine, and even the BBC asked us questions. We appeared on CBS This Morning and Good Morning, America. It was so strange. We couldn’t believe that people thought it was such a big deal. It was just two people getting married. While we knew, of course, that our plans were unique, we had no idea that we would create such a media frenzy.

Dave was too nervous to do most of the interviews, and since I was the one with the main interest in Lizzie, I did them. I was anxious in the beginning, but soon relaxed as I found that most of the interviewers asked the same things: “What would make you decide to get married in a house where two brutal murders took place?” “Are you hoping to see any ghosts?” and “How do your parents feel about such an unconventional wedding?” Martha and Ron told us that they had invited the media to the wedding. The ceremony was going to be taped and they wanted another interview afterwards. In fact, this intimate elopement had become a national event. We even had more media there than family!

We had ten invited guests—mostly my family and Dave’s best friend and best man, Steve. It turns out that Dave’s family had indeed found out about the wedding—the same way my dad had. They were not pleased by the idea and refused to attend. 

Sadly, Dave’s mother, who had been battling lung cancer, died in May, just three months before we were married. Before she died, however, we all had a chance to talk things out and she blessed our marriage before her passing. It relieved us both to know that the hard feelings and ill will were behind us and that this union would be a fresh start for all.

The big day came around so fast. Martha and Ron planned it so that Dave and I could arrive on the 3rd to get settled and we were invited to spend the night in the house by ourselves, before it was officially opened to the public. Richard Borden, the Justice of the Peace, met with us and went over the ceremony, and Martha and Ron discussed all the details. Ron asked me if I wanted to see our wedding cake. In all my preparation plans, I had forgotten about the cake! Ron’s niece made it and it was absolutely perfect—a simple, two-tiered, cherry nut cake. Everything was ready.

Our wedding day started early when we awoke to someone banging on the front door of the house in what looked like a witch’s cloak. It was one of the B & B staff in Victorian garb. We had our breakfast and then my mother and I went to have our hair done. It was finally Dave’s turn to give interviews. TV news crews and newspaper reporters piled into the house. Dave found himself questioned unrelentingly for hours. By the time I got back to the house he was keyed up and flustered. I told him affectionately, “Welcome to my world!” 

It was finally time for the guests to arrive. We were to be married at 4 PM. By 3:30 PM, the house was full—with family, B & B staff, and reporters from all over. We decided to be married in the infamous sitting room where one of the murders took place just to add to the history of the house. My father waited for me at the bottom of the front staircase, that same staircase where, in 1892, Lizzie was said to have stood and laughed while Bridget fiddled with the locks on the front door in order to let in Mr. Borden. I stood at the top of those stairs and prayed that Lizzie would be with me and bless what I was about to do. I walked down the stairs to my father softly crying and couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw all the media! 

My father and I actually had to push our way into the room. Flash bulbs went off everywhere. Dave stood in front of the fireplace with Mr. Borden and we all took our positions. Family and friends jockeyed for position right along with all the photographers from the news agencies. The short, fifteen minute ceremony thus began amongst pushing and shoving and flash bulbs and video cameras. 

When I was giving my vows my mother couldn’t see me. She boldly made her way through the crowd, pushing a photographer, and said, “Would you mind? I would like to see this! Thank you!” Dave and I exchanged rings and then it was time for the kiss. Mr. Borden said, “By the power invested in me, by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.” And then, we were married.

As I said, we were supposed to be married at 4 PM. We actually started earlier than that. Just two minutes after our marriage kiss and as we turned to face our family, friends, and media, the clock on the mantle sounded four times. It scared everyone out of their wits. A Lizzie Borden wedding indeed!

After the ceremony, the BBC, CBS, ABC, and Hard Copy interviewed us. Not many people give a news conference after their nuptials, but we did. And as fast as they came, they left just as quickly. They got their quips and quotes and out the door they went. Only two of the reporters brought gifts. Not that I expected it, but it was nice and very thoughtful. 

We celebrated our wedding feast at Magoni’s restaurant in nearby Somerset. Then it was off to Down Under Pub (which sadly no longer exists) to really celebrate. Then it was back to the B & B to spend our honeymoon night in a reputed haunted house. I’m not going to give you the details, but I will tell you this—we did leave the lights on.

Dave and I never did have that second traditional wedding. We had too much fun at Lizzie’s and knew we would never be able to top it. I did something that not many people get to do. I had both my dreams fulfilled in one fell swoop—getting into the Lizzie Borden house and marrying the love of my life. You know, I still get recognized on the street and all my friends and family still talk about the fun they had. 

And, to this day, I am still happily married. Dave and I were lucky enough to visit Maplecroft a few years ago. Mr. Dube, the current owner, was very nice and gave us a tour of the house. Mr. Dube was eccentric and kind enough to say that if we ever decide to get divorced, we can always do it at Maplecroft!