Emma at Wheaton

[Nadzieja]

I was reading about Emma's education at Wheaton. It just seemed to me a bit out of character for Andrew to pay all this money for her to go to a private school. Then I thought about her being away from the house for over a year. Do you think that this was also a way to hopefully bond Lizzie & Abby? Without Emma there ( who I'm sure regarded Abby as a threat) young Lizzie might have gotten along and possibly started a decent relationship with her stepmother.

[LizbethTurner]

That might have been the motive. If that's the case, it didn't work so well.

[snokkums]

This is a new one for me. I never knew that Emma went away for school. Did Did I miss something? Fill me in Thanks.

[Nadzieja]

I just read it today in Parallel Lives. In 1867 she went to Wheaton Female Seminary in Norton, MA. She stayed for 4 semesters until July 1868. There is also an excellent article about it in The Hatchet Vol 4 No. 3.
It wasn't until I read it in Parallel Lives today that I thought about the possibility that Lizzie & Abby might have been able to bond while Emma was away at school. It also makes me wonder about the realtionship between Andrew, Abby & Lizzie seeing that this was the first time they were alone as a family.

[Allen]

Maybe that year with Emma away at school did give Abby and Lizzie some time to bond. Maybe Andrew realized Emma was the at the root of the discord in the family towards Abby. It might have had some positive outcome seeing as Lizzie did for a time call Abby mother. But it doesn't seem to have had the lasting effect that Andrew had planned if that was his intention. Both daughters continued to snub Abby and treat her as the wicked step mother. I do believe that Abby honestly tried to gain a close relationship with both Emma and Lizzie. Andrew may have also tried in his way to make things work out. But I think, in my opinion, his role merely amounted to damage control. Buy a half house for Abby and her family, then buy property for Emma and Lizzie to shut them up. I would be interested in knowing what the dynamic of the relationship was between Sarah and Andrew. This would set the stage for how Emma thought Abby should behave as a wife and a mother. If Emma had as much influence over Lizzie as I believe it also affected how Lizzie viewed her as well. According to Rebello on page 175, there were various reports of Sarah being a peculiar woman with a very bad temper, who was very strong in her likes and dislikes. I remember reading somewhere that Sarah was given to fits of rage. Alice Russell testified that Emma and Lizzie resented Abby for not having any influence over Andrew, and for letting him rule the house. Maybe Sarah ran the show when she was alive. Maybe she displayed the same ill temper that is ascribed to Lizzie. Maybe Abby with her good nature never stood a chance.

[SallyG]

It does sound like Sarah possibly suffered from bi-polar disorder...or maybe she just had a hateful disposition. Someone like that may have cowed Andrew. Perhaps he did her bidding as a way to keep peace in the family. Abby may have been a much more easy-going person, and Andrew may have finally been able to assert himself and run the household. Andrew's idea of damage control was probably to throw money at the problem (Lizzie) and hope it resolved itself. He may have been somewhat intimidated by Lizzie if she was like her mother...but at the same time Abby was allowing him free reign in running the household. So maybe he was only prepared to go so far. If Sarah had lived with Andrew being so prosperous, she would probably have browbeat him into living a much higher standard of living than what Abby was content with. All in all, some big time dysfunction there. They would make quite a psychiatric case study!

[Nadzieja]

Lizzie did call Abby mother for a time. (I almost forgot about that!) Do we know how Emma referred to her? Also if Lizzie started calling Abby mother when Emma was away, can you imagine her reaction the first time she heard Lizzie refer to her as mother. I just feel that Emma was responsible for alot of the ill feelings that Lizzie had for Abby because Lizzie was so young when Abby came into their lives.

[twinsrwe]

... I just feel that Emma was responsible for alot of the ill feelings that Lizzie had for Abby because Lizzie was so young when Abby came into their lives.

I agree! I have always thought that Emma had a huge influence over Lizzie’s feelings toward Abby.

[Albanyguy]

It does sound like Sarah possibly suffered from bi-polar disorder...or maybe she just had a hateful disposition. Someone like that may have cowed Andrew. Perhaps he did her bidding as a way to keep peace in the family. Abby may have been a much more easy-going person, and Andrew may have finally been able to assert himself and run the household.

This strikes me as very likely and it could well have been the reason Andrew was attracted to Abby in the first place. I've always thought that Andrew's decison to remarry was a pragmatic one (he needed a wife to keep his house and raise his children) and from that point of view, Abby was a good candidate for him. At 37, she was considered an "old maid" whose chances of finding a husband were slim and she came from a poor family. I'm sure he expected that, having provided her with financial security and the status of a married woman, she would always be grateful and subservient. She seems to have held up her end of the bargain, but neither of them could ever have guessed how badly it would all turn out.

I wonder if Andrew hoped for more children from his second marriage? Like most Victorian patriarchs, he probably wanted a son and heir to take over his business enterprises and carry on his name. At 37, Abby was a little old for first-time childbearing (in an era where many women were grandmothers by the time they reached 40), but it would still have been within the realm of possibility. We know it never happened, but I wonder how hard they tried to conceive? And can you imagine Emma and Lizzie's fury if Abby had given birth to a little Andrew Jackson Borden, Jr.?