Sherry Chapmanby Sherry Chapman
First published in February/March, 2007, Volume 4, Issue 1, The Hatchet: Journal of Lizzie Borden Studies.
Dear Readers,
I was asked to do Abby Borden’s column this issue due to her annual bout with bronchitis. My name is John Vinnicum Morse, blood uncle to Misses Emma and Lizzie Borden. I wish to make it known that I am promised payment for doing this, in case Andrew Borden denies it was ever mentioned. And I do intend to bill for mileage. True, I am living with the Bordens at this time. But steps do add up and shoe leather does wear out. And now without further adieu, I shall proceed. (Note: To prevent confusion, I have changed all salutations to read “Dear Mr. Morse”.)
Dear Mr. Morse,
How much work does your servant girl, Bridget Sullivan, actually do around your house? Seems like every time I go past your place, she is out in the yard talking over the fence with the neighbor’s girl or throwing up. It looks like she has a lot of free time on her hands. —Miss Alice Russell, True Blue Friend of the Borden Girls
My Dear Miss Russell,
Bridget does do most of the cooking in the household, though Abby has been known to bake now and then. I am not sure how well Miss Sullivan cooks, though, because once in a while everyone will come down sick after one of her meals. She sweeps the foyer every two weeks, washes the dishes, sets the dining room table, does laundry, and regularly washes the windows, though she is a bit skimpy with the rinsing. Since I have been staying here sleeping in the attic, Bridget was told to take care of any needs I may have as a visitor. She has serviced me extremely well on many occasions. Rest assured, she is a busy young lady.
Dear Mr. Morse,
Why don’t you wear more fashionable dresses around the house? Your girls are always so beautifully outfitted, even for simply morning attire. Yet it is said that you go around in practically rags and mens’ shoes. —Baffled on Brightman Street
Dear Baffled,
I do not believe that anyone saw me in a woman’s dress. I made sure the shutters were completely closed.
Dear Mr. Morse,
I am of an inquisitive nature. I often sit at my desk and take things apart to see how they work. I have a fascination in things new. Here is one that quite frankly has me stymied. I am very interested in Guglielmo Marconi and the wireless telegraphy. How in the world did he give birth to it? —H. Knowlton, New Bedford
Dear Mr. Knowlton,
I am not sure, but I think you made an error in your letter. Obviously Marconi was a woman.
Dear Mr. Morse,
I am new in Fall River, having arrived less than a week ago in this fair city. Because I have no rig of my own, I am forced to use the horse car to get around with. Can you tell me what time one stops at the corner of Weybosset Street in the week-day mornings? How long would it take to drop me off at my job, at the corner of Borden Street? What number car should I get on going and coming back in the evening? Thank you for your assistance. —Just a little lost in Fall River
Dear Little Lost,
Don’t thank me, because I don’t know. I doubt if anyone could remember such things off the top of their head. I would start off asking someone at the City Hall. They may have a timetable of the horse cars or be able to tell you where to attain one. If you get nowhere there, I would think the horse car ticket seller’s office would be able to help you. Sorry, but I don’t know where that is, either. My niece gives me free horse car tickets but did not tell me where she got them.
CONFIDENTIAL TO E. Porter, A. Phillips, Tommy Barlow, and “Brownie”: The cellar door was definitely open. The cellar door was definitely closed. I am not sure whether the door was open or closed. I never said a word about the door to any reporter.
