Sherry Chapmanby Sherry Chapman
First published in April/May, 2008, Volume 5, Issue 2, The Hatchet: Journal of Lizzie Borden Studies.
Dear Abby,
Is it true that Lizzie had fleas and that they went away on Wednesday, August 3?—O. sea-hay Owltonkna
Dear O. Sea-hay,
Our Lizzie hardly talks to me, let alone will with a health issue. This does, however, make me understand her hatred of cats. (Note To Readers: Apparently my column has become so popular, we are getting mail all the way from Japan! Thank you for writing, Mr. Owltonkna.)
Dear Abby,
Who said “Let ‘em eat cake”?—Everett “Brownie” Brown, Fall River High School, history class
Dear Everett,
My husband said it just last week, as I started to cut my fourth piece of cake at supper. He said I should leave some for Bridget and the girls. “Let them have cake,” he said. How in the world did you know this?
Dear Abby,
Why do you use the privy in the bahn and not in your cellar?—Mrs. Caroline Kelly
Dear Mrs. Kelly,
My knees hurt when I even think of the cellar stairs. It’s bad enough having to use stairs to get to my room or guest room. Our Lizzie says that will be the death of me yet.
Dear Abby,
How do you take your coffee? It helps me to know a person better.—Mary, waitress at Tripp’s Restaurant
Dear Mary,
You must have heard the wrong name. It is Lizzie that takes coffee from Wade’s. I don’t know how she does it. Her father always pays them back for it, though.
Dear Abby,
Why does your husband carry an opened pouch of chewing tobacco but does not use it?—Spinner, Globe Mills
Dear Spinner,
Oh, he found that in one of the homes a previous tenant left. He plans to use it as a Christmas gift to a business associate.
Dear Abby,
Are you going to the World’s Fair in Chicago next year?—H. H. Holmes
Dear H.H.,
My husband, Andrew, and I are not going. He says it is a tourist trap, and if there is anything worthwhile to see there, we can have just as good a time reading of it in the newspaper. Our Emma does not want to go. Our Lizzie, however, does. My husband said he would not give her the money to go, and she should not travel so far from home without any male escort. He said she would only do it over his dead body.
This issue of ‘Dear Abby’ is sponsored by
