Sherry Chapmanby Sherry Chapman
First published in June/July, Volume 2, Issue 3 of The Hatchet: Journal of Lizzie Borden Studies.
Dear Abby—
There’s a rumor goin’ round about town. They say if you go to the nickelodeon and watch the movin’ picture there, you’ll die in seven days. Is there any truth to it, Abby? My husband saw it two nights ago. – Scared on Sixth Street
Dear Scared — There is some truth to it. If I went to the nickelodeon and spent five cents on a moving picture, my husband probably would kill me.
Dear Abby—
I was reading some statistics on crime in the newspaper that said last year in New York City two men and two women were arrested for abortions. I just wanted to make your readers aware of what can happen if one dallies in such a thing. – Dr. Benjamin Handy, Fall River
Dear Dr. Handy— Thank you for writing. I didn’t know men got abortions!
Dear Abby—
If you could choose your way to depart this earth, how would you want to go? – L.A.B., Fall River, Swansea, and Europe
Dear LAB— I have not given it much thought, as I am a bit too young to be thinking of such matters. Having done volunteer work at the Home for the Aged on Adams Street, I do so hope that I do not develop dementia. I don’t know how I would like to go, but I do know that I would not like to go without my head on straight. But this is purely conjecture. After all, the cause of our deaths is not in our hands, is it?
Dear Abby—
I just love reading. I’ve worked my way through 22,000 books in the past 12 years. I sometimes get books from the library, but I much prefer to own a book. Then the volume is totally new and fresh. You can run your hands over the cover, write your name inside of it, and smell the ink as it welcomes you as its very first reader. Most any kind of book is interesting to me. Travel books let me take a trip without leaving my sofa. Biographies are fascinating, giving us a glimpse of lifestyles of the well-known. I will even read a children’s book now and then, where fantasies are unleashed and action imminent. What was the last thing you read, Abby? – Bookworm on Buzzard’s Bay
Dear Bookworm— Why, your letter.
Dear Abby—
I was in town recently, and I heard that your husband has been telling a few people that he will not go to Swansea this summah because he is afraid of something. Now, I’ve known Mr. Bawdin all my life, and never known him to be scared of anything. What in the world could it be? – Nehemiah Poole, Westport
Dear Mr. Poole – I think it’s the price of groceries over there. They are predicted to be much higher than Fall River’s this summer.
This issue of Dear Abby is sponsored by
The ladies of Fall River and vicinity are invited to call and examine my stock of
MILLINERY
WORSTEDS & FANCY GOODS
TRIMMED HATS AND BONNETS
To which I invite your special attention.
I make a specialty of
CRAPE WORK
Mrs. M. Harris
29 South Main St., Opp. Academy of Music
